And the Lord said 'Diet'

Valentine's Day is over. Oodles of candy hearts and Hershey's Kisses sit just begging to be eaten, but most of us are trying to watch our figures, so the temptation to gorge on that last box of Godiva goodies is just too excruciating. That is, of course, until we ask ourselves that age-old question: "What Would Jesus Eat?" \nDon Colbert, M.D., is pondering that same idea in his book, "What Would Jesus Eat: The Ultimate Program for Eating Well, Feeling Great, and Living Longer." In it, he claims to provide the answers to all our weight concerns. \nHow does he do this, you ask? Well, The Christian Broadcasting Network's online bookshop praises the work and lets us know exactly how such a miracle program operates.\n"This comprehensive eating plan examines Scripture and reveals what we know Jesus ate and what we can confidently infer He ate. Using current medical research, 'What Would Jesus Eat?' demonstrates why the diet Jesus followed is ideal for twenty-first century living as well."\nSounds simple enough, and I love fish.\nThe fun doesn't end there. Colbert's not alone; this trend in divine dieting is catching on nationwide. The "Weigh Down Workshop" in Iowa has discovered that the key to dieting is eating what you desire, so long as you just listen to God.\n"God designed our body and he gave us the signals to obey. If we overstuff ourselves, we are disobeying him," said Dorothy Miller, co-facilitator of the Weigh Down Workshop in Kalona to the Associated Press.\nTheir official Web site claims, "America is in a faith-crisis, not a high-calorie food predicament," and that "with God's help, you can learn to stop in the middle of a meal and have no desire to eat the second half if your stomach is satisfied."\nAsk and you shall receive. I'd like a McRib, but hold the love handles please?\nAt first I questioned these faithful entrepreneurs' sincerity. My immediate reaction wanted to sum them up into the group of people profiting off of many followers' devout trust in the church. \nColbert's book collection goes so far as to include "The Bible Cure for Cancer" and "The Bible Cure for Candida and Yeast Infections" -- I think that one has something to do with unleavened bread.\nHowever, I had to re-examine my cynicism when I looked at the results. Their success stories showed calorie cutting Christians across the country losing weight and feeling great. Sylvia Harrison of Carmel, Ind., lost 105 pounds through the Weigh Down Program. And Colbert is a board certified family practitioner and a member of the American Medical Association, so his work stands somewhat on legitimate credentials.\nWas George Michael right? Maybe we all just need a little faith. \nYou see, every diet has success stories, but they seem to come from those with conviction and dedication -- whether it be dedication to prayer, Tae-Bo, Richard Simmons or Yoga. If religion motivates people to stick with a diet, perhaps it could be a wonderful tool in slimming America down. \nMy only suggestion: widen the audience. Christians aren't the only ones out there deciding between Snickers and the SRSC. Might I offer Torah Trekin' and Buns of the Bagavad Gita as possible starting points?\nI guess I have to ask myself, with all joking aside: Will I be asking the higher power for a little help in putting down the Haagen-Dazs? Probably not. So long as we're about to go to war, I'll keep my physique out of God's hands and in my own, and reserve my prayers for more pressing matters.