Everything is going too far

The battle between the sexes over admission to Augusta National golf club is the latest in a recurring series of examples of society's excess in every shape and form. I understand that some people are not content with things as they are, and I understand that everyone's reality will differ from person to person. But really, some things defy logic.\nThe Augusta case reminds me of a case I read about a while ago, where a boy sued his high school to let him play on the girls' field hockey team. The boy eventually won the case, and he was soon on the field in long baggy shorts to emulate a skirt. \nI cannot believe that there was not another sport he could have played. I am sure his school had other male teams to play on. What I also don't get is why the court didn't make him wear a skirt, just like the rest of the team. Or would that be breaking the rules of typical gender roles? I smell some hypocrisy here …\nOr are gender roles really all that important? If they are not, then why can't I join an all-women's health club? Or a sorority? If a guy identifies more with women than men, doesn't that make him as good a sister as anyone could be?\nAnother example of fine American silliness is the recent rash of lawsuits from people who claim that fast food companies misled them into thinking that a daily dose of burgers and fries was good for them. How can anyone be so stupid? These frivolous suits are simply the latest get-rich quick schemes for lazy people who don't want to work. (Obviously they don't want to work, or else they would not be obese.) These "victims" try to compare their cases to the tobacco industry's payouts, but get real. The tobacco industry really did hide research and ingredient lists from people. Tobacco, in some cases, was even altered to be addictive. Fast food companies are guilty of nothing more than getting stupid people to pay attention to advertising gimmicks. If the obese people win, can I then sue Nike for lying to me? I once bought a pair of Air Jordans and they didn't help me make the high school basketball team.\nLast Sunday, I spotted another example of excess. In New York City, there are mile-long waiting lists for the rich and affluent to get their young ones into the city's top nursery schools. These extravagantly expensive babysitters have been called the first step to Harvard for kids as young as two. With the advent of this type of Ivy League daycare, it won't be long until places like Harvard actually do get into the early childhood business. What could be better than sending your two-year-old to Harvard for an academically enriching playtime experience? They would begin to work on their hobnobbing skills at an early age!\nWhatever happened to simplicity? Where did the joy in life go? Living is now a Martha Stewart magazine, copyrighted and licensed by Omnimedia, Inc. Happiness is now a fragrance by Elizabeth Taylor, available in three sizes. Anti-depressants are being prescribed as much as antibiotics. And somehow, having a neurosis or disorder is cool. The NFL is now examining whether or not it's fair that real football players can't hit as hard as their electronic likenesses can in football video games. Next year, "Madden 2004" will be scaled down to "Madden's Safer Football Substitute 2004."\nIs it too much to ask that my fellow humans drop their lawsuits, drop their whining and drop their batons of political correctness and get real?