Poker and revenge

Hopefully the upcoming weapons inspection in Iraq will show us that Iraq has absolutely nothing. Something tells me that Saddam Hussein has been carrying out a four-year bluff with the whole world. I don't think he's been trying to fool us, I just think he doesn't have anything worth fighting a war over, and he doesn't want us to know that. \nFor the sake of peace, it would do us all a big favor if we knew what Iraq was packing. I don't think he has anything but a few dirty magazines and a couple bags of Funyuns. Admitting that your country has nothing cool like big nuclear bombs, is like being the little kid without that brand new toy that all your friends have. I feel sorry for Saddam actually, he just doesn't want to be left out.\nI think that deep down, Saddam Hussein enjoys being accused of having weapons of mass destruction. It's as if we're playing a global poker game and Saddam is the good bluffer. President Bush is calling his bluff by planning to wipe him off the map before we know whether or not he really does have anything. Bush wants to clean up Iraq (i.e., bomb the heck out of them) before they're even dirty. If we blow up Iraq enough, we'll never know what they've got.\nBy dismissing U.N. weapons inspectors four years ago, Saddam created this image that he was hiding something. The U.S., in our glorious belligerence, decided to test Iraq by baiting them with a few missile runs. It is pre-revenge or "prevenge" in a way. Prevenge being the art and science of getting revenge, but doing so before vengeance is even needed. It is an excellent strategy, really, but it only works when you can get everybody else on your side. Otherwise, you end up looking like the playground bully -- a role the U.S. is playing perfectly.\nBush's strategy reminds me of a rock band going on a world tour. He's cruising all over the world, trying to stamp out terrorism just like U2's Bono shows up at different places with prominent political figures and singing some God-awful anthem like he always does. We need some U.S. Army World Tour t-shirts that show the countries Bush is planning to blight. If this year's tirade is successful, maybe Bush can get the band back together and schedule a follow-up tour next year.\nWhat will weapons inspectors find in Iraq? I could be wrong, but I really don't think Saddam's hiding anything. If we find anything threatening, it'll likely be a few of Iraq's top "researchers" huddled around a copy of "The Anarchist's Cookbook" trying to make high-powered explosives out of Vaseline, Jell-o and bubblewrap. Their inventory of weapons is likely as deep as Joe Grace's list of girls' telephone numbers.\nIraq is harmless, really. If I was Saddam Hussein and I had all of the weapons he's been accused of hiding, I'd at least set off a few and maybe put on a fireworks show just to prove it. Sure, Iraq could possess weapons of mass destruction, but we should at least give them a chance during these inspections to prove Bush wrong.