Not-so-great expectations

In the midst of writing my dreaded junior term paper, I looked around at my Catholic all-girls high school and realized it was nothing like "Saved By the Bell." It's not that I had been so unobservant for two and half years to not see the difference between my plaid skirt and Lisa Turtle's stone-washed jeans.\nBut I realized, as I was sitting there not particularly enjoying the paper I was writing, the clothes I was wearing and the high concentration of estrogen surrounding me, that this was not how I had pictured high school. As a kid I watched back-to-back episodes of "Saved By the Bell" almost every day. All those years of watching the show caused me to develop an unconscious expectation of what high school should be.\nSomehow I got it into my head that I would bond with a group of co-ed friends over Max burgers while developing crazy schemes to make fake I.D.'s and cover up the death of a pet lizard. Instead I was doing homework next to a crucifix and wondering if I would ever see a boy again.\nI suddenly realized how damaging high expectations are. While daydreaming is one thing, actually fooling myself into believing I would someday play basketball for Bobby Knight was another. Okay, so I got over that dream well before I entered college, but ridding myself of unrealistic expectations is still a diffi-\ncult thing.\nWhen I first entered college of course I had expectations. Who doesn't? I would become best friends with my potluck roommate, make the dean's list and work out everyday at the Student Recreational Sports Center. Again, things didn't turn out exactly as planned. After my high school experience I knew I had to change \nmy ways.\nI decided to start small. While I make an effort to study for each of my classes, I go in with the expectation that I will receive a C. So I think I'm Harvard material when I get a B, or the next Einstein when I receive an A.\nWith each passing semester I have fewer expectations. Freshman year I mentally pictured the way I would decorate my room for sophomore year as if I was a designer on "Trading Spaces." This year I found out my housing assignment in August and threw some clothes and my Nintendo in the car the night before I left for Bloomington. I had no time to develop expectations for this semester because I was focusing on important questions such as, "Should I go to the pool or Dairy Queen?" \nWhile I find planning for the future important, my tendency to over plan has subsided. Five years ago I could have told you where I would be when I was 30 and what I'd be doing. Now, a semester away from graduation, I can't even tell you where I'll be in six months. And for the first time in a long time I'm okay with that. Of course I will plan enough so that I have some options for jobs, but right now I'm not concerned with exactly what will come after college.\nMaybe it's because I learned back in high school how disappointing expectations can be. Or maybe it's because "Saved By the Bell" was cancelled after "The College Years." Either way, I'm going to live this semester moment by moment and avoid some major disappointment.