'Friends Forever' tour a must-see

Wouldn't it be cool if David Bowie was your dad's best friend? People would come over and be like, "Hey, that's David Bowie." And you could be like, "Yeah, yeah it is."\nMy girlfriend left that as her away message recently, and it floored me. Besides being one of the most creative phrases I've ever heard emitted from her mouth, I was left stunned. What if Bowie was, in fact, your dad's best friend?\nThis is really one of those always-to-be-unanswered questions, like "How cool would it be if The Zack Attack ever toured?" In my opinion, that would a bigger deal than Paul and Ringo touring together.\nWhich got me thinking… what would be a more anticipated live show: The Zack Attack, Citizen Dick or Stillwater? Each is great in their own different ways, but if all three were playing in the same city on the same night, who would you go and see?\nThe Zack Attack was the original "American Idol" (and in case you were wondering, no, I didn't watch "American Idol," although I was highly addicted to VH1's "Bands on the Run" two summers ago; it was a great show). And, in all honesty, the group was the predecessor to "Behind the Music."\nCome on, don't pretend like you don't remember the "Saved by the Bell" episode when Casey Kasem guest-starred and did a bio on the band, leading up to the infamous "Friends Forever" World Tour. There's nothing quite like watching Kelly Kapowski as a game-show beauty -- you always knew that's what she would turn into.\nBut, in all honesty, The Zack Attack was always a joke band to me. The band's big hit, "Friends Forever," was really cheesy. Even then it was cheesy, and the fact that the show is still in syndication bothers me. But I still watch it -- of course I do. There isn't a better episode (in any show) than when Jessie gets addicted to caffeine pills: "I'm sooo excited!" You know what I'm talking about.\nWhich brings us to our next band, Citizen Dick, from Cameron Crowe's "Singles." In case you don't remember, Citizen Dick was a Seattle band that peaked around 1992 with its hit, "Touch Me I'm Dick." It was a big record in Belgium. Citizen Dick was fronted by Cliff Poncier, but was backed ably by Stone Gossard, Jeff Ament, and drummer Eddie Vedder.\nThere's not really any more information on Citizen Dick that I know of. Poncier had a troubled relationship with his girlfriend, Janet Livermore, but you never really heard from him again musically. And the other three guys, what ever happened to them? I don't know either.\nAnd then, from Troy, Mich., there's Stillwater (from Crowe's "Almost Famous"). Obviously the most talented of the three groups, Stillwater had a semi-hit in the early 1970s with "Feverdog" and exploded after that. Russell Hammond and Jeff Bebe were like Mick and Keith to me -- they were that electric on stage. Sometimes, I sit and wonder why they don't tour anymore. Was it bitter jealousy that broke the group up? Or drug habits? Why can't they be like Aerosmith? I mean, does anyone even listen to Aerosmith anymore? Right, people with no music taste. But Stillwater -- gosh! What an incredible band. \nSo, whom would you go and see? And how would you go about deciding on whom you would see? Talent wise: Stillwater. No question about that. Novelty value: The Zack Attack. I mean, no one would ever confuse them for a good band, but it would be funny to see.\nIf you were going for the "Man I'm seeing fantastic musicians completely playing around having fun in a really small venue" effect, you'd have to pick Citizen Dick (Gossard, Ament and Vedder are in Pearl Jam. If you didn't know that, you need to pull yourself out of the gene pool right now).\nI asked my girlfriend the same question. Her reply: "Do I get a backstage pass? Or do I just get to see the show? Is Kate Hudson going to be at the Stillwater show? Can I chill with Bridget Fonda at Citizen Dick, who will be there to see Cliff? Oh the possibilities …"\nFor the record, in order, I would see: Stillwater, Citizen Dick and then The Zack Attack, although we all know that Citizen Dick would be opening for Stillwater, what with the Cameron Crowe connection, so it's a moot point anyway.