They're older than your parents but they still rock

As soon as the Rolling Stones announced their 40th anniversary tour, a friend from my undergrad days scurried to the Internet and managed to pick up one ticket -- for $300. On top of that, I think the show is in L.A., which means that by the time he's done, he will probably have shelled out well into four figures to see four 60-year-olds creak around for two and a half hours. And I'm completely jealous, of course. That rat bastard! Here I am, suffering as a poverty-stricken grad student, and he's spending his big Associated Press salary on Stones tickets. How insensitive. But we all have to manage to deal with such negative feelings in productive ways. It's what separates us from apes and Karl Rove. So instead of going on a six-state crime spree featuring Megadeth and Exodus at high volume and copious amounts of pixie sticks, I'm channeling my emotions by imagining that I'm at a Stones concert and the band is playing all of my favorite songs. Of course, when it comes right down to it, my favorite Stones songs include just about everything they've ever recorded aside from "Angie," and all of Their Satanic Majesties Request. More like "2000 Light Years from a Decent Album." But there are some overlooked Stones gems that I would love to hear in concert, namely: "Get Off of My Cloud"
Too often this song gets overshadowed by the band's biggest mid- '60s hit, "Satisfaction," which really wasn't that great of a song to begin with. (Sayeth Keith: "It could just as well have been called 'Aunt Millie's Caught Her Tit in the Mangle'"). But it's got a bounciness that the Stones don't often display. "Have You Seen Your Mother, Baby, Standing in the Shadow?"
Mick Jagger once said during a Saturday Night Live skit that this was one of his favorite Stones songs (along with "Let It Bleed" he said). It's filled with horns and a distorted guitar sound, which proved that the Stones could get psychedelic without being totally irrelevant (see Satanic Majesties above). "Stray Cat Blues"
This is a ballsy cut from 1968's brilliant Beggars Banquet, a disc that kicked off a run of four straight near-perfect albums (the other three will be referred to shortly). On Banquet, "Stray Cat Blues" fits nicely alongside classic cuts like "Sympathy for the Devil" and "Street Fighting Man." "Monkey Man"
1969's Let It Bleed ends with the somewhat overbearing "You Can't Always Get What You Want," but the album actually hits its peak on "Monkey Man," which features a great riff and great vocals by Mick. "Sway," "Can't You Hear Me Knocking" and "Dead Flowers"
These three standout cuts from 1971's Sticky Fingers are grittier and sturdier than the album's lead single, "Brown Sugar." "Dead Flowers" reflects the band's growing affinity for traditional country-western flavorings, while the seven-minute-plus "Knocking" features a smoking organ, courtesy of Billy Preston. And "Sway" is a slow, grinding dirge that burns. Exile on Main Street
Perhaps the best album in rock history. A lot of fans and critics dislike 1972's Exile because, they say, it's convoluted and meandering. But to me it's a tour-de-force of swirling, out-of-control rock 'n' roll record and a fine successor to Jerry Lee Lewis and Little Richard. Aside from the popular "Tumbling Dice," standout tracks include "Rocks Off," "Happy," "All Down the Line" and "Shine a Light." "Before They Make Me Run"
After a half-dozen years of mediocre albums (Goat's Head Soup and Black and Blue, to name a couple), the band returned to form in 1978's Some Girls, and "Make Me Run" is the best track on the disc (and that's saying a lot, considering the album also includes "When the Whip Comes Down, "Some Girls," "Beast of Burden" and "Far Away Eyes"). It features Keith on vocals, at his craggy, sublime best. It's my favorite Stones' song. "Hang Fire"
Ugh. If I hear "Start Me Up" one more time...1981's Tattoo You was highlighted not by that overplayed anthem, but "Hang Fire," a tight little bundle of energy that explodes off the CD player. "Already Over Me"
This aching, forlorn cut was the cream of 1997's Bridges to Babylon, the Stones' best album since Some Girls nearly 20 years earlier. That's it. For a second or third encore, of course, the band could do a couple of cool covers, like maybe Bo Diddley or Hank Williams or the Isley Brothers or the Clash. But that could be asking for too much. Nah.