Embracing the Night

\"Three years ago, I was in an abusive relationship," junior Suzanne Wargo said as she looked down at her feet. "My ex-boyfriend raped me -- a few times."\nStories such as Wargo's permeated the still air Wednesday and Thursday night as one by one, Take Back the Night participants recounted their experiences to a crowd of silent, stoic faces. \nEmotions ran high and tears flowed openly and regularly. The majority of participants did not know each other but they shared a common goal, they were committed to ending sexual abuse and violence toward women. \n"This is the first time I have come to one of these," Wargo said. "I never thought I was ready, I guess. I just don't want women to be ashamed of who they are or what they have been through."\nDuring the candlelight vigil and march, women and men were encouraged to stand and talk. One did not have to be a victim or rape of sexual abuse to speak. Some just gave thanks to the ones who did. \nThe underlying message of Take Back the Night was about healing and moving on. Hugs were shared and people listened to one another.\n"It took one person to get up there and speak first," Wargo said. "But after she went, everyone was supportive and gave no reaction which made it easier for me to go up and talk."\nWargo said she did not plan to tell her story as she walked to the event. She was just there to listen. She was there to offer support when she could. But she felt compelled to speak, moved by other's experiences, hoping to add her own. Wargo was not raped and beat by an aggressive attacker, she was attacked by her boyfriend, she said. A person she loved.\n"Before I had spoken, nobody had said anything about what kind of thing I went through," Wargo said. "I wanted people to know that even a person you love can do this to you but it is not your fault. For a long time I thought that I was getting what I deserved."\nFor some women, like Wargo, this was their first Take Back the Night experience, but for women like Kate Norris, talking about one's victimization was a job. Norris, an alumna and a writer, focused on her minority status as she spoke to the crowds. \nNorris, a post transition male-female transsexual, opened up by expressing the confusion of her sex as a child and her feelings of inadequacies. She shocked people by tales of her beatings, stabbings and rapes. Her message was closer to home than some; one of her attacks had taken place in Bloomington.\n"It hurts and it is ugly," Norris said. "I still come up from College and Walnut and look at that parking garage and get the shivers. It happened to me and I still get minimalized for it because there are people in this world who don't think we should be called women. But believe me, if anyone has earned the right to be called a woman, it is me."\nSpiritual adviser Rebecca Jimenez gave the women and men an uplifting message before they departed.\n"Remember where you stand because it is important, precisely because you are standing there," she said.