This damsel is no longer in distress

Once upon a time, long ago I gave up the dream that a dashing prince would come and rescue me from my tower of credit card and credit hour hell. The fantasies of my transformation from Cinderella to the princess at the ball ended well past midnight, after many nights and finally the reality of life as a plain girl set in.\nSometime in grade school I realized I could not have 7 dwarves for slaves. I would never grow a scaled fin and head down to an enchanted kingdom underwater where I could give up my voice in exchange for the love of a handsome and down-to-earth prince. \nThe fantasies that Disney made my world (I saw The Little Mermaid six times in the theatre) slowly changed to the realities of adolescence, chicken pox, acne and all.\nI gave up on cartoons and switched over to the "real world" of Beverly Hills 90210, now convinced that I would drive a Beamer by the age of 16 and shop at Prada before it was legal for me to buy cigarettes. I am still (just ask MBNA, carrier of the family Visa) living this lush lifestyle fantasy as I tune in daily to FX's rebroadcast of the gang from the 90210 zip code.\nThen sometime in the fall or perhaps last summer I caught my first glimpse of "Shrek", the anti-cartoon that promised more than a dashing knight and a damsel in distress.\nThe previews of "Shrek" made it seem different, more Simpsons than Disney, more intelligent than superficial without the misguided messages of men saving women, as if that is really the way it is.\n"Shrek" seemed to supercede the notion that everything ends up all right; messages that often avoid the reality that not every frog turns into a prince and not every rainy day will yield to sunlight.\nIt is about time the creators of cartoons turned more towards reality than fantasy and depicted a world that has ups and downs and ogres that in the end will win it all.\nI finally saw "Shrek". Dragging along a semi-unwilling male companion I braved Showplace for a Saturday matinee, hoping the theatre wouldn't be overstocked with my least favorite age group, whining, loud, obnoxious, snot-filled kids, the ones that never shut up and always seem to scream out the worst mumbled messages at the worst possible times.\nLuckily for me most of the local kids must have stayed at the pool and I finally got to peacefully see the tale of "Shrek" unfold. Witty, charming, politically correct and incorrect at the same time, the tale of the ogre named "Shrek" who pulled wax from his ears to create his candle light dining was much more than a ridiculous fantasy.\nDreamworks created a story where fantasy characters from Snow White to the three blind mice are banished from the kingdom and where the damsel in distress knows karate and easily pulls off a Matrix-style ass whooping. \n"Shrek" defied the stereotypes and let the ugly people win, a true testimony of greatness for all of us living ogres. Ok, I might not be a living ogre, but I have definitely been the girl not rescued from the burning tower. "Shrek" let the underdog win in style and for once gave the message to the whining eight year olds that they should truly get.\nCameron Diaz, as the voice of the beautiful damsel, is more beautiful when her inner depth is exposed than when she is a porcelain china doll. Beauty for her is found within and becomes even more obvious when her true colors are unveiled. Forget the poisonous apple and the wicked stepmother. Hail the witty, karate kicking average girl who does not possess eternal beauty, but eternal kindness and genuine love that doesn't need a size four waist or perfect skin.\nMany thanks to the big three at Dreamworks for doing a better job than Disney at giving the right messages to children. Dreamworks gives the message that it is best to be real, even with green skin and weird ears. The characters in this flick may not be the most realistic, but their words and their hearts and their messages are.\nCongrats to "Shrek" for selling more tickets than the over-dramatic, overpaid, way-too-long Pearl Harbor. The message of "Shrek" is worth the screaming kids in the front row, if they happen to be there. It is worth losing a little bit of pride as you admit to the guy at the counter, that yes you, the one who is always at the bars wants to see a cartoon movie.\nIt is funny. It is real. It is worth it. Please go see "Shrek," so you can laugh with Eddie Murphy the donkey and Mike Myers in the title role (think: voice of Fat Bastard, "Austin Powers") and finally realize that it is okay not to be the prettiest princess or the most handsome prince. That sometimes, if not all of the time, the average guy (or ogre) with the best heart and the truest personality wins.