Fun with internships

\"Laura! It's been too long... we've missed you so!"\nAnd I, darling readers, have missed you. After all, you are the collective sunshine of my existence.\n"What have you been doing these past few weeks?"\nWell, I'm really glad that you asked that question, as it leads nicely into this week's column, the ever-tedious and formidable internship search.\nThis whole internship thing has really snuck up on me, as a) I don't really know what I want to do with my life, b) procrastination, as you know, is my middle name and c) I'm desperately trying to find an internship that actually pays.\nStop laughing.\nOh, that I were a carefree freshman, looking forward to a summer of relaxation and personal growth. But this summer will be my last as a student (I hope). As much as it pains me to say, it's high time I started being a -- gulp -- grown-up.\nAnd grown-ups, as we all know, need jobs. And for many students, getting a job means getting experience with a swanky internship. So for the past few weeks, I've been searching the Internet and talking to friends, desperately searching for the most wonderful internship out there for this summer.\nThe search process is exhausting, as is the actual application process. It's rather easy to find positions to apply for; filling out and compiling the necessary paperwork for said position isn't quite so simple.\n"Interns for ACME Communications enjoy real-world experience, possible job placement, housing and a stipend."\nGreat! Sign me up.\n"To apply, please send 55 writing samples, eight copies of your transcript, 45 letters of recommendation, six current photographs and an essay on your favorite pet."\nUh... yeah. Let me get right on that.\n"The Big Governmental Internship for the Performing Arts offers professional experience, free acting work shops, travel expenses and a stipend."\nNew York, here I come!\n"We accept no more than two interns per decade, and you must have professional experience. Former child actors encouraged to apply."\nRight.\nFear not, loyal readers, I'm sure we'll all find great jobs this summer. And because writing columns about applying for internships is easier and more fun than actually applying for said internships, here are my tips to land the summer job of your dreams:\nHighlight Your Skills\n"Hey Laura, I was a lifeguard last summer. That's good experience, right?"\nYou bet, but we're going to list it as "Aquatic supervisor and life-risk troubleshooter." Pretty neat, huh?\nI'm not saying you should lie about your experience or activities, I'm just saying that "child care technician" sounds better than "babysitter" on a resume.\nPicture Perfect\nBe sure to have some recent photographs taken of yourself: I learned this the hard way. After several hours of thumbing through some rather creative photos of me with various friends, family members and my dog, I had to resort to my senior picture. Sigh. I have to give myself some credit: At least it was a simple head shot, not me sitting on a big "SENIORS RULE" sign or anything.\nSeriously, get a good picture of you by yourself. And come on, people; we all know "self-portraits" don't count.\nFinally, if all else fails...\nThe Clear Plastic Binder\nI don't know why, but there's just something about the clear plastic binder that screams "Professional!" I use the CPB for just about everything. Essays, group projects, keeping my lunch tasty fresh. If these bad boys can't get you in the door, I don't know what can. You don't even really have to put anything in the CPB, just send it alone in an envelope, and the job is yours.\nWell, kids, I'm running out of room and advice. Just know that when you're feeling down and out about the internship search, I've got your back. Feel free to e-mail letters@indiana.edu, and I'll be more than happy to help you with your resume. And if you're lucky, I'll throw in a clear plastic binder.