A holiday survival guide

Hello, gentle readers. I hope you all had a fabulous Thanksgiving; I sure did. My holiday was full of both thanks and giving, and of course I was most thankful for each and every one of you.\nMy family takes food seriously, so there was lots of it. Every year, I promise myself I will be good and not eat too much. And every year, my brother and sister egg me on in a culinary extravaganza that rivals even the Eating Olympics. And relatives! Sure have lots of those! We gathered together in Muncie, coming from California, Alabama, Michigan and Washington. It was good times.\nI like to think of Thanksgiving as a warm-up to the rest of the holiday season. I absolutely adore my family, but I need those three weeks or so of interim time before I'm ready to jump into Christmas. \nAnd I figure I'm not alone in the struggle. It seems college students are the most-targeted group in the Relative Inquisition that occurs with every family gathering. To help my fellow Hoosiers (and to give love to my "East Coast Readership"), I've come up with a few tips on how to survive this holiday season.\nThe Kiddie Table\nAh, sweet oasis of holiday cheer! I don't know where I'd be without the Kiddie Table. The KT is more a state of mind than a physical location. You can be in your late 20s to early 30s and still be a member. You can even be sitting at the (gulp) Adult Table and still be a card-carrying member of the KT.\nThe KT is where you can catch up with your cousins and siblings without getting "all up in their business." The KT is where you can get a plateful of just mashed potatoes and no one will send you back to the spread.\nFor my family, the post-dinner KT becomes a speakeasy. We break out the cards, drink a few cases of Coke and play Hearts, Spades and other games until our parents drag us kicking and screaming back to the world of adults. If you don't have a KT, I strongly suggest you band together with the young folks this Christmas break.\nPreparation\nStand ready to discuss your classes, grades, your significant other or lack thereof, what you're doing this summer, your job, Coach Knight and the election. \nHors d\'oeuvres\nIt's really hard to answer uncomfortable relative questions with a mouthful of cheese and crackers. This gives you the triple advantage of avoiding the query without appearing rude, giving compliments to the chef and having a mouthful of cheese and crackers.\nOther Young Relatives\n"Laura, are you dating anyone?" (Subtext: yet.) \n"Well, not really, but -- Hey! There's Jennifer, why don't you ask her?"\n"Laura, my uncle's friend's cousin's son's best friend's sister knows a young man who would be perfect for you!"\n"Hey, there's John. I hear he's going to ask someone to prom!"\nSimple and effective.\nGrandmas\nGrandmas are great for passing out leftovers (college kids love free food), giving good advice, giving good hugs, offering unceasing praise and fending off the queries of other relatives. \nThe Post-Holiday Gift Trade\nYou got a gift certificate to that clothing store you don't really like. Luckily, one of your cousins is willing to trade! The after-Christmas bartering in my family usually leads to yet another game of cards, so that's an extra bonus.\nThe Election\nNothing stops a bout of inquisition or any other uncomfortable conversation faster than the words "dimpled chads." My family was obsessed with watching the Florida tomfoolery during Thanksgiving, and I can only hope it continues during winter break.\nI hope these words of wisdom will help you out during the next few weeks. Let me take this opportunity to tell my family members I love them and I'm only kidding!