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(09/19/00 3:01am)
Oh, George. He really screwed up this time.\n I mean, every other thing he's done to make himself look like an idiot was foul smelling and ludicrous, but still managed somehow to rest cozily on the boarder of endearing.\nWhen he couldn't name the leaders of four geo-political hot spots, it was stupid but cute.\nWhen he told a bunch of school kids to preserve instead of persevere, it was foolish but lovable.\nWhen he made fun of a woman Texas put to death in the electric chair, it was vicious, disgusting and amoral … well, I can't think of a redeeming quality for that one.\n Details aside, Bush has managed to scrape through this campaign season by playing off his weaknesses as the byproduct of good ol' American grit and straightforwardness. Karen Hughes, his press secretary, even had the gall to say that when he used vulgarity to describe a New York Times reporter, it was a prime example of the kind of straight talk he would give the electorate. \nClever, George. Very Clever.\nBut now I find myself in a quandary. Now that Bush has done something thoroughly and inexcusably embarrassing, should I shrug my shoulders and think to myself, "It had to happen sooner or later"? Or, should it shock me that the master tightrope walker has finally fallen to his chagrin, pushed off balance by the issue of presidential debates?\nHonestly, I am shocked. It's a lot like when the Republicans forgot to fund the 2000 census. Now, it's in the Constitution that we have to have a census every 10 years; and yet, come 1999, the Republican House leadership could be found running around like lemmings, screaming at each other about there not being enough money to do the count. They knew it was coming!\nSimilarly, Bush, and more importantly his campaign staff, knew the debates were on their way. And they also knew for a long time they didn't want to deal with them. Not only is Bush light on the substance that debates demand, but Al Gore's middle name is, "When I'm at a Podium, I Will Eat You for Breakfast." \nBut you know, it's not like you can be the leader of the Free World without some kind of test ' some event by which you prove you've got the stuff to go one on one with people such as Russia's Vladimir Putin, China's Jiang Zemin and TV's Oprah. At this point, Bush is acting as though he couldn't even handle the heat with David Letterman's sidekick, Paul Shaffer. \nBush's idea of a debate was some kind of prime time forum moderated by none other than Larry King. No, not Larry King the distinguished journalist. Yes, Larry King the CNN talk show host who made a fine art out of asking people, "What's it gotta\' be like to wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and see somebody famous looking back?"\nYes, the Larry King whose guests have included Sally Jessy Raphael, Jerry Lewis and Tom Selleck. Oh, nothing is wrong with the old Lare-meister. It's just, when you pick your president, it should happen along with the distinguished trappings inspired by people who work for PBS. \nWhat Bush didn't want you to know is this: In the late 1980s, a bipartisan commission was established to insure the fairness of presidential debates. This organization has, in the past, arranged for each race to have three prime time debates, each shown simultaneously on all major networks (Hey, sometimes you have to play dirty so people won't sneak and watch "Friends" instead.) and hosted by a distinguished moderator. Each was exemplary in its respect to the candidates and the American people. \nBut the thought of a real intellectual confrontation was no daydream for Bush. He complained the format should be more relaxed and the location of one of the planned debates was too close to the Kennedy Presidential Library. Apparently, he was afraid the Democratic boogie man lived there … you know, the one who likes to eat Republican presidential candidates for dinner. \nCome on, Gov. If the thought of debating Al Gore gave you the willies, then why do you think you're ready for the toughest job in the world? Many people in this country want a strong leader. You want to pal around with Larry King and get all teary eyed when he asks you what it's like to pick up your father's old fight.\nThank goodness Dubya was finally shamed into some real debates. It would be a pity if he were able to get away with making a sham out of democracy and deliberation. More importantly, imagine the message he would have sent if he hadn't debated.\n"Excuse me, Professor. I really think the format of this test should be easier. Instead of asking me to defend my position, can't I just tell you how great it is to be an American? Oh, and I'd also like to move to another classroom. This one is too intimidating"
(09/15/00 4:16am)
Alright. I'll be the one. I'll be the moron who tells the truth. Bobby Knight is not a general. He is a criminal. Anyone who wraps their fingers around someone else's throat deserves that label.\nFor 29 years, Mr. Knight was treated like a god. He could, with little consequence, throw chairs, berate people and tell women that, if it had to happen, they could at least enjoy being raped. I'm sure Myles Brand isn't the first IU president to cringe at Knight's endless abuses and absurdities. Thank God he will be the last.\nI wish I could have been proud of our University this week. Finally, we have brushed off this man whose behavior has been in an abhorrent tailspin ever since I can remember hearing the word "Hoosier." I was relieved when President Brand did not cave in to the mania of Knight's supporters and adhered to his promise of "zero tolerance" (although it looks like there were a few other incidents since last spring).\nFiring Knight seems to me the perfect way to begin the new millennium. His obnoxious approach to the game and to his life (like the approach of University of Kentucky's famed Adolf Rupp and other dead generals) was as tarnished as trophies in a neglected case. After 13 years without an NCAA title, perhaps new leadership can invigorate IU basketball without putting anyone's life in jeopardy.\nBut no. So many of Knight's supporters could not suffer this blow with dignity, and the result has been national media coverage that makes everyone at this University look like a crazed Midwestern basketball zealot.\nRioting to the defense of a criminal coach? Destroying treasured public art because a burnt-out basketball brute couldn't keep his hands off an annoying kid? Throwing the reputation of this University into the gutter, and then jumping up and down on it for good measure, just because our most famous hothead gets to spend more time fishing in Canada?\nGive me a break!\nSending death threats to someone who just didn't keep his mouth shut?\nI know it's hard to lose a legend.\nI know it's tough to accept change.\nI know that a bunch of people think Bobby Knight was, is and always will be Indiana University.\nBut you've got to get over it.\nThose of us who loved IU for its beauty, its tradition of academic freedom and the spirit of excellence you can find if you try … We had a hard time coping with the loss of Herman B Wells, the man who built IU, and whose spirit of leadership and love of learning still fuel the best parts of this University. We mourned his loss, but we rededicated ourselves to doing things with his spirit of confidence and enthusiasm.\nThat's the kind of legacy I think we should celebrate.\nThe violence that erupted after Knight's dismissal probably reflects his legacy of assault and anger ' a legacy that deserves condemnation, not commemoration.\nThere will be another coach. In fact, there will be many more … and perhaps one of them will be great.\nFor now, let's get on with our lives. Being at IU is so much more than basketball and a man who thought he could get away with anything. It's about exploring the world and ourselves. It's about sharing in a tradition that is bigger than a ball game.\nI have a friend from Ireland who works here at the University. Whenever she sees violence on the evening news, she turns to me and says, "Duncan! How do these people have time to do this nonsense? I don't have that kind of time. I go to museums. I read books. I volunteer at the homeless shelter. I have more important things to do."\nIn this precious time of our lives, we all have things to do that are more important than Bobby Knight's infantile behavior.\nRead a book. Fall in love. Figure out how you're going to change the world.\nIf you're spending any time at all concerned with this man (who's had thousands of people eating out of his hand for almost 30 years), do one thing for me.\nMove on.
(09/04/00 4:25am)
In a smoke-filled back room of George W. Bush's campaign headquarters, several interns are rehashing (and embellishing) the previous evening of parties and indiscretions.\n Meanwhile, over glasses of fresh-squeezed kiwi-guava-passionfruit-coconut-yum-yum, top Bush campaign advisers are trying to figure out what is going wrong. \nWhy, all of a sudden, is it a problem that Dubya seems so dumb? All fall and all summer, a majority of the American people seemed pleased as punch to have Mr. "I ain't gonna learn, even if it kills me" running for the highest office in the land. In fact, many hardcore Republicans seemed giddy at the chance to elect someone with less foreign policy experience than the dimmest cast member of "Survivor."\n(What kind of contestant would Bush have made on this summer's highest rated display of humanity at its worst? Would his smile and folksy sense of humor have won over even Richard?)\nAboard Air Force II, the vice president's family is gathered around its dinner trays, waiting for Al himself. Karenna, Gore's most politically active child, is going over the lines for her next sincere homage to Daddy's loving antics. "Did you know he made me…," she winces, angry that she can't remember this crucial part, and peeks at the script. "Did you know he made me toast with butter? Toast with butter. Toast with butter. OK."\nAcross the table, Tipper Gore sits enthroned in the awe of pundits, campaigners and politicians everywhere. With a single kiss, she turned her losing husband into a poll-climbing sex cat. \n(Did you miss the kiss? So did I. The long lip lock happened right after Al Gore's speech at the Democratic National Convention, and has been credited for boosting Gore's standing in the polls by 15 to 20 points. It was apparently the most important political event of the summer. Some summer.)\nSomewhere else on Air Force II, Al Gore is doing sit-ups. Lots of sit-ups. \nIn Florida, Joe Lieberman is talking about God. This interesting habit has turned Mr. Lieberman, Gore's running mate, into quite a phenomenon. For the last 20 years, ever since Jimmy "The Born Again" Carter was kicked out of office, talking about faith has been the domain of Republicans such as Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell. But Holy Joe can pepper a speech with prayer while still holding tight to his centrist but ever Democratic beliefs. \nThis is a real problem for Republicans. How can they insinuate that Democrats are a Godless people if Lieberman goes around telling crowds, "We need to … renew the dedication of our nation and ourselves to God and God's purpose?"\nEn route from Idaho to Wyoming, Dick Cheney's formidable figure is crunched into the backseat of a maroon Chevy Celebrity. How is it that this experienced, accountable behemoth of Republican sobriety has turned into George W. Bush's most embarrassing liability? Who was to know that he would have in his closet an uncomfortably conservative voting record from his days in the House? How could you expect Dubya to know that Cheney's big oil employers would give him a retirement package worth millions? \nMore to the point, why did Gore have to choose an exciting, interesting running mate who makes Cheney looked like a stuffed burlap sack? As Dick drives on from Boise to Cheyenne, his stern sense of loyalty is the only thing that comforts him as he scans a schedule of speaking engagements at retirement homes and out-of-the-way junior high schools. \nSomewhere in the darkest part of his campaign plane, George W. Bush is taking a nap.