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(04/18/02 4:00am)
With Little 5 quickly approaching, we are all reminded of the 1979 gem, "Breaking Away." As directed by Peter Yates (the genius behind "Krull"), the film tells the story of Dave Stoller (Dennis Christopher), a high school graduate and "cutter" bicyclist who yearns for nothing more than to be an Italian. Much like innumerable other films of its ilk, "Breaking Away" is chock-full of the excessively tired "sports montage." For those not in the know, a sports montage is a series of sequences depicting a young, impressionable athlete training for an impending event usually set to a horrendously generic/lame pop nugget. \nI loathe the sports montage. Sure, it's a quick and effective way to convey a butt-load of information to an audience, but it's annoying as all holy hell and has been done to death. The greatest proponent of the sports montage is writer/director/editor/cinematographer/producer John G. Avildsen. The man practically invented the sports montage with his 1976 effort "Rocky," and further honed the technique alongside Daniel-san and Mr. Miyagi in "The Karate Kid." While these films are good, they came about early in the trend. Remember Avildsen is the same man who subsequently directed "Rocky V" starring Sylvester Stallone's annoying progeny, Sage, as well as Luke Perry's bull-riding epic, yes you heard me correctly, Luke Perry's bull-riding epic, "8 Seconds" (crappy sports montage city!). And rarely do Avildsen's montages make a shred of sense. For example, look at "The Karate Kid." How in the hell is waxing on and off going to help Daniel-san trounce high school bully Johnny (immensely talented character actor William Zabka)? If anything, I'd like to see a montage of Avildsen being pummeled by Ralph Macchio and Stallone for having subjected viewers to these lame sports montages for so damned long.\nThe sports montage even goes so far as to pervade flicks not having the slightest thing to do with sports. Most prominent among these films is the cheesy sub-genre of dance flicks popular in the early to mid-'80s, i.e., "Flashdance" (1983) and "Footloose" (1984). While I enjoy Jennifer Beals' pink legwarmers as much as the next guy, and honestly, could watch Kevin Bacon flip around a barn all day, there's no denying these flicks, and the "sports montages" that inundate them blow. \nLuckily, filmmakers have finally discovered just how lame the sports montage is. In David Wain's razor-sharp satire of '80s summer camp films, "Wet Hot American Summer" (2001), two of the film's protagonists are seen training for a subsequent meeting with a girl. Short shorts, spastic dancing, uncontrollable armpit hair, man-on-man love and a wise, talking can of mixed vegetables populate the scene to hilarious effect sending up the whole damned sports montage debacle.\nAlso, on a recent episode of "South Park" entitled "Asspen," Kyle trains for an impending ski race against the much older bully with a considerable chip on his shoulder in an inspired sports montage set to the subtly titled tune "We Need a Sports Montage!" The more directors who desecrate this time-tested turd of a cinematic technique the better.\nFor wannabe filmmakers who harbor hopes of eventually making a film, I have this suggestion: by all means include the sports montage within your film, just subvert it. Athletes/dancers/ whomever-the-hell-your-protagonist-might-be should smoke cigarettes like Dennis Quaid's character in "Breaking Away," drink like a fish, tell their Miyagi-esque mentor to "piss off" and train from the confines of a comfy couch with video game controller in hand. And for you makeshift videographers out there: don't compile sports montages of this weekend's race -- I'm a journalist, I'm good at tracking people down and I've been training.
(04/10/02 9:18pm)
Sha Sha\nBen Kweller\nATO Records/BMG\nTexas native Ben Kweller was 15 when his up-and-coming band Radish was being hyped as the "next Nirvana" -- this at a time when the rest of us didn't even have drivers licenses. By the time he was 18, they'd split up. Now at 20, he's avoided the needle-drag pratfalls of many child phenoms, relocated to Brooklyn and gone on to make one hell of a solid solo debut with Sha Sha.\nImagine a super-grouping of Ben Folds, Pavement and Weezer filtered through a single individual and that will give you some semblance of the genius contained within Kweller's singing/songwriting. And Sha Sha is a great venue for his unbridled talent. There's not a weak track on the album, certainly some are better than others, but still, that's rare. Kweller's unique brand of guitar and piano driven power pop is infectiously catchy, fusing folk and punk in equal parts -- Sha Sha, in essence, is the ideal sing-along record. \nThe album kicks off in high style with its second track "Wasted and Ready," an oddly hilarious tune concerning disjointed romantic relationships. "In Other Words," the album's centerpiece features piano pyrotechnics that would make Elton John blush. In the Pavement-esque "Walk On Me" and "Make It Up" Kweller continues to spew lyrics of young love gone wrong with an underlying air of hope. The influence of Weezer and a cadre of other college geek rockers can clearly be seen on the infinitely catchy "No Reason" and "Harriet's Got a Song." The album's closer "Falling," is eerily reminiscent of the best works churned out by Ben Folds Five.\nLove is a recurring theme on Sha Sha, and rightfully so, Kweller is a young man in his prime -- grappling with and discovering the nature of love. For such a thinly focused album, Kweller mines it for all it's worth and churns out a modern-day classic. I'm just curious to see what this talented young musician tackles as he broadens his horizons in future efforts. \n
(04/10/02 4:00am)
National Lampoon's Van Wilder - R\nStarring: Ryan Reynolds, Tara Reid\nDirected by: Walt Becker\nShowing: Showplace East 11\nThe National Lampoon moniker is meant to elicit memories of great comedies past. "Animal House" and the first three "Vacation" flicks rank as some of the funniest comedies ever produced. Their latest effort, "National Lampoon's Van Wilder" is funny, but not to the extent their previous achievements were.\nRyan Reynolds (star of ABC's fortunately defunct "Two Guys and a Girl") plays the titular "big man on campus." He's in his seventh year of undergrad at fictional Coolidge College, that is until his father (played by National Lampoon alum Tim "Otter" Matheson) refuses to pay any more of his tuition bills. \nVan finds a way to keep responsibility at bay by turning his hard-partying lifestyle into a lucrative business -- planning parties for socially inept dweebs yearning to get laid and those who want to have an all-around good time. In doing so, he becomes fodder for an expose by up-and-coming collegiate journalist Gwen Pearson (Tara Reid). The two initially bump heads, but as is common in the world of cinema, tension between male and female leads inevitably to the bumping of uglies. But there's a hitch: Gwen has a stereotypical frat rat of a boyfriend named Richard (Daniel Cosgrove), who's determined to put a kibosh on Van's seven-year reign as campus king.\nReynolds does wonders in the role of Wilder. He makes the flick work through subtle charm and wry wit -- seemingly channeling an amusing hybrid of the work churned out by Chevy Chase in "Caddyshack" and Jason Lee in "Mallrats." I wish the same could be said for Reid, while she's easy on the eyes, her acting is piss-poor.\nIs "Van Wilder" a great movie? No. Essentially, it's an hour and a half barrage of truly base dick and fart jokes (explosive diarrhea, projectile vomiting and bulldog ejaculate are all played for laughs), but admittedly, I found this stuff funny. "Van Wilder," while coarse, kept me entertained, and as such, it's well worth catching at matinee price.\n
(04/10/02 4:00am)
Sha Sha\nBen Kweller\nATO Records/BMG\nTexas native Ben Kweller was 15 when his up-and-coming band Radish was being hyped as the "next Nirvana" -- this at a time when the rest of us didn't even have drivers licenses. By the time he was 18, they'd split up. Now at 20, he's avoided the needle-drag pratfalls of many child phenoms, relocated to Brooklyn and gone on to make one hell of a solid solo debut with Sha Sha.\nImagine a super-grouping of Ben Folds, Pavement and Weezer filtered through a single individual and that will give you some semblance of the genius contained within Kweller's singing/songwriting. And Sha Sha is a great venue for his unbridled talent. There's not a weak track on the album, certainly some are better than others, but still, that's rare. Kweller's unique brand of guitar and piano driven power pop is infectiously catchy, fusing folk and punk in equal parts -- Sha Sha, in essence, is the ideal sing-along record. \nThe album kicks off in high style with its second track "Wasted and Ready," an oddly hilarious tune concerning disjointed romantic relationships. "In Other Words," the album's centerpiece features piano pyrotechnics that would make Elton John blush. In the Pavement-esque "Walk On Me" and "Make It Up" Kweller continues to spew lyrics of young love gone wrong with an underlying air of hope. The influence of Weezer and a cadre of other college geek rockers can clearly be seen on the infinitely catchy "No Reason" and "Harriet's Got a Song." The album's closer "Falling," is eerily reminiscent of the best works churned out by Ben Folds Five.\nLove is a recurring theme on Sha Sha, and rightfully so, Kweller is a young man in his prime -- grappling with and discovering the nature of love. For such a thinly focused album, Kweller mines it for all it's worth and churns out a modern-day classic. I'm just curious to see what this talented young musician tackles as he broadens his horizons in future efforts. \n
(04/03/02 4:56pm)
1.)"Die Hard" (1988)\nIt doesn't get more rad than John McClane (Bruce Willis) swinging off the side of the Nakatomi Tower on a fire hose, or for that matter, doing a barefoot Irish jig on a bevy of broken glass. McClane's also got the best lines with "Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!" ranking most highly. As directed by John McTiernan ("The Hunt for Red October") and ably co-starring "Family Matters"'s Carl Winslow, a.k.a. Reginald Veljohnson, and Alan Rickman as the definitive Euro trash terrorist "Die Hard" is the epitome of '80s action cool.\n2.)"Raiders of the Lost Ark" (1981)\nSteven Spielberg's stirring homage to the serials of the '40s and '50s couldn't be much cooler if it tried. Harrison Ford is the essence of big- screen hero in the role of Indiana Jones, an archeologist with a considerable chip on his shoulder. The sequence in which Indy vanquishes his sword-wielding nemesis with a nonchalant gunshot is hilarious, and besides, where else are you going to see a Nazi's face melt?\n3.)"First Blood" (1982)\nDisgruntled Vietnam vet John Rambo (Sylvester Stallone) was the ripped and bloodied action hero poster boy of the Reagan era, and for that reason alone his first foray into skull-cracking rightly earns its ranks upon this list. Perhaps not as viscerally entertaining as its sequel "Rambo: First Blood Part II" (1985), but certainly a more emotional and better-acted film, "First Blood" is a winner through and through.\n4.)Pretty much anything starring Arnold Schwarzenegger\nGranted "Red Sonja" (1985) and "Raw Deal" (1986) blew, but everything else the Austrian Oak touched during a vast majority of the "Me" decade was pretty sweet. "Conan the Barbarian" (1982) and "Conan the Destroyer" (1984) are some of the best albeit campy sword and sorcery epics ever committed to celluloid. "The Terminator" (1984) cast Arnold as a villain and solidified his macho rep. "Commando" (1985) will always be loved because of its tool shed massacre sequence, and "Predator" (1987) is one of the finest sci-fi, action, horror flicks of all time. Arnold ruled the '80s with an iron fist. It's just too bad that "The 6th Day" (2000) and "Collateral Damage" (2002) sucked so bad.\n5.)"Top Gun" (1986)\nSome classify this flyboy epic as a drama, but with its stunning aerial photography, "Top Gun" flies alongside the best action pics of the '80s. Despite having seen this flick like 20 times I still haven't "lost that lovin' feeling" for Maverick, Goose, Iceman, Slider and Charlie. Those with "the need for speed" need not look any further than here.\n6.)"Lethal Weapon 2" (1989)\nMany will cry foul with my inclusion of this underrated sequel preferring the original, but "Lethal Weapon 2" is superior. Joe Pesci enters the franchise in a winningly obnoxious fashion as Leo Getz. Danny Glover is strapped to a toilet wired with explosives within the first five minutes and later shoots a thug in the face with a nail gun. Mel gratuitously beds beautiful Brit Patsy Kensit (ex-wife of obnoxious Oasis frontman Liam Gallagher). In a decade personified by sequels, "Lethal Weapon 2" stands toe to toe with the best.\n7.)"Bloodsport" (1988)\nThis is Jean-Claude Van Damme before he starting sucking tremendously, and believe it or not he was "Damme" cool! Aside from "Hard Target" (1993), whose success can be attributed to director John Woo, "Bloodsport" is "The Muscles from Brussels"'s finest moment.\n8.)"Cobra" (1986)\nThe Italian Stallion re-united with his "Rambo: First Blood Part II" director George P. Cosmatos ("Tombstone") for this clichéd cop flick. But viewers have to love a hero by the name of Marion Cobretti (Stallone) who spouts lines such as, "This is where the law stops, and I start." And, "You're the disease, and I'm the cure." Plus Marion's got a really tight gun. Man, he's tough!\n9.)"Robocop" (1987)\nCertainly being offed while taking a whiz isn't the most triumphant moment for an action hero, but Alex Murphy/Robocop (Peter Weller) certainly ranks among the coolest of the litter. He's got sweet lines such as, "Come quietly or there will be... trouble" and "Dead or alive, you're coming with me!" Robot or not he's certainly not a dude to be mucked with. Paul Verhoeven's satirical and excessively violent futuristic action opus is a bonafide classic. And bonus props go out to Kurtwood Smith (Red on "That '70s Show") who portrays Clarence Boddicker, one of the most vicious heavies of all time.\n10.)"The Killer" (1989)\nHong Kong action maestro John Woo made his best film to date with this Asian import. This film more than any other was ripped off in abundance during the '90s, even by Woo himself. Incessant violence and beautiful choreography place "The Killer" among the best action offerings of the '80s -- also the flick practically made Chow Yun-Fat ("Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon") the badass he is today.
(04/03/02 5:00am)
1.)"Die Hard" (1988)\nIt doesn't get more rad than John McClane (Bruce Willis) swinging off the side of the Nakatomi Tower on a fire hose, or for that matter, doing a barefoot Irish jig on a bevy of broken glass. McClane's also got the best lines with "Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!" ranking most highly. As directed by John McTiernan ("The Hunt for Red October") and ably co-starring "Family Matters"'s Carl Winslow, a.k.a. Reginald Veljohnson, and Alan Rickman as the definitive Euro trash terrorist "Die Hard" is the epitome of '80s action cool.\n2.)"Raiders of the Lost Ark" (1981)\nSteven Spielberg's stirring homage to the serials of the '40s and '50s couldn't be much cooler if it tried. Harrison Ford is the essence of big- screen hero in the role of Indiana Jones, an archeologist with a considerable chip on his shoulder. The sequence in which Indy vanquishes his sword-wielding nemesis with a nonchalant gunshot is hilarious, and besides, where else are you going to see a Nazi's face melt?\n3.)"First Blood" (1982)\nDisgruntled Vietnam vet John Rambo (Sylvester Stallone) was the ripped and bloodied action hero poster boy of the Reagan era, and for that reason alone his first foray into skull-cracking rightly earns its ranks upon this list. Perhaps not as viscerally entertaining as its sequel "Rambo: First Blood Part II" (1985), but certainly a more emotional and better-acted film, "First Blood" is a winner through and through.\n4.)Pretty much anything starring Arnold Schwarzenegger\nGranted "Red Sonja" (1985) and "Raw Deal" (1986) blew, but everything else the Austrian Oak touched during a vast majority of the "Me" decade was pretty sweet. "Conan the Barbarian" (1982) and "Conan the Destroyer" (1984) are some of the best albeit campy sword and sorcery epics ever committed to celluloid. "The Terminator" (1984) cast Arnold as a villain and solidified his macho rep. "Commando" (1985) will always be loved because of its tool shed massacre sequence, and "Predator" (1987) is one of the finest sci-fi, action, horror flicks of all time. Arnold ruled the '80s with an iron fist. It's just too bad that "The 6th Day" (2000) and "Collateral Damage" (2002) sucked so bad.\n5.)"Top Gun" (1986)\nSome classify this flyboy epic as a drama, but with its stunning aerial photography, "Top Gun" flies alongside the best action pics of the '80s. Despite having seen this flick like 20 times I still haven't "lost that lovin' feeling" for Maverick, Goose, Iceman, Slider and Charlie. Those with "the need for speed" need not look any further than here.\n6.)"Lethal Weapon 2" (1989)\nMany will cry foul with my inclusion of this underrated sequel preferring the original, but "Lethal Weapon 2" is superior. Joe Pesci enters the franchise in a winningly obnoxious fashion as Leo Getz. Danny Glover is strapped to a toilet wired with explosives within the first five minutes and later shoots a thug in the face with a nail gun. Mel gratuitously beds beautiful Brit Patsy Kensit (ex-wife of obnoxious Oasis frontman Liam Gallagher). In a decade personified by sequels, "Lethal Weapon 2" stands toe to toe with the best.\n7.)"Bloodsport" (1988)\nThis is Jean-Claude Van Damme before he starting sucking tremendously, and believe it or not he was "Damme" cool! Aside from "Hard Target" (1993), whose success can be attributed to director John Woo, "Bloodsport" is "The Muscles from Brussels"'s finest moment.\n8.)"Cobra" (1986)\nThe Italian Stallion re-united with his "Rambo: First Blood Part II" director George P. Cosmatos ("Tombstone") for this clichéd cop flick. But viewers have to love a hero by the name of Marion Cobretti (Stallone) who spouts lines such as, "This is where the law stops, and I start." And, "You're the disease, and I'm the cure." Plus Marion's got a really tight gun. Man, he's tough!\n9.)"Robocop" (1987)\nCertainly being offed while taking a whiz isn't the most triumphant moment for an action hero, but Alex Murphy/Robocop (Peter Weller) certainly ranks among the coolest of the litter. He's got sweet lines such as, "Come quietly or there will be... trouble" and "Dead or alive, you're coming with me!" Robot or not he's certainly not a dude to be mucked with. Paul Verhoeven's satirical and excessively violent futuristic action opus is a bonafide classic. And bonus props go out to Kurtwood Smith (Red on "That '70s Show") who portrays Clarence Boddicker, one of the most vicious heavies of all time.\n10.)"The Killer" (1989)\nHong Kong action maestro John Woo made his best film to date with this Asian import. This film more than any other was ripped off in abundance during the '90s, even by Woo himself. Incessant violence and beautiful choreography place "The Killer" among the best action offerings of the '80s -- also the flick practically made Chow Yun-Fat ("Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon") the badass he is today.
(03/27/02 5:34pm)
Knockout Kings 2002\nRating: T for Teen\nBy: EA Sports\nFor: XBox, Playstation 2\nEA brings the sucker-punching, adrenaline-pumping fisticuffs of the ring to stunning life with "Knockout Kings 2002," the most recent incarnation of their popular boxing franchise.\nWhile the game is extensive, perhaps it's not extensive enough? There are plenty of cool venues to scrap in (i.e., Caesar's Palace and Wembley Stadium, among others) and legendary fighters to brawl with (Muhammad Ali, Joe Frazier, Ruben "Hurricane" Carter, etc.), but many boxing greats are sadly excluded (George Foreman, Mike Tyson and yes, Tommy "The Gun" Morrison). \nAlthough these exclusions are annoying, there are a few other elements within the game that are far more grating. First, it's next to impossible to properly block your opponents' shots. You can hold the block button all you like, but they'll still clock you in the face while dancing about like Baryshnikov. Second, ring announcers Larry Michael and Max Kellerman are a couple repetitive dudes -- every round could be "the greatest they've ever seen." Granted, I mash buttons with the best of them, but I'm not that great. Third, the boxers don't even talk. I want to hear Roy Jones Jr. challenge Bernard Hopkins to a spelling contest. I want to hear Hopkins retort by schilling for goldenpalace.com. I want to hear Mike Tyson threaten to eat his opponents' children. \nDespite these qualms, "Knockout Kings 2002" is an entertaining game. There are various different fighting modes available to gamers. Players can participate in multiplayer tournaments, allowing for a maximum of eight fighters, or they can opt to create their own boxer in career mode (Strangely enough, your manager strongly resembles Robert Shapiro… Where's Don King when you actually need him?). The graphics are impeccable -- details ranging from the crystal clear JumboTrons in the background to Lennox Lewis' sweat-drenched dreads are captured in stunning detail. Facial renderings are accurate and clearly show wear and tear through each round.\n"Knockout Kings 2002" true to its source has built-in two player appeal, which makes for some truly hilarious smack talk among gamers. Boxing fans, or those who truly relish talking trash to their nearest and dearest would be well advised to pick this game up. Otherwise, gamers would be better off waiting around for "Knockout Kings 2003." Either way this game is well worth a rental.\n
(03/27/02 5:00am)
Knockout Kings 2002\nRating: T for Teen\nBy: EA Sports\nFor: XBox, Playstation 2\nEA brings the sucker-punching, adrenaline-pumping fisticuffs of the ring to stunning life with "Knockout Kings 2002," the most recent incarnation of their popular boxing franchise.\nWhile the game is extensive, perhaps it's not extensive enough? There are plenty of cool venues to scrap in (i.e., Caesar's Palace and Wembley Stadium, among others) and legendary fighters to brawl with (Muhammad Ali, Joe Frazier, Ruben "Hurricane" Carter, etc.), but many boxing greats are sadly excluded (George Foreman, Mike Tyson and yes, Tommy "The Gun" Morrison). \nAlthough these exclusions are annoying, there are a few other elements within the game that are far more grating. First, it's next to impossible to properly block your opponents' shots. You can hold the block button all you like, but they'll still clock you in the face while dancing about like Baryshnikov. Second, ring announcers Larry Michael and Max Kellerman are a couple repetitive dudes -- every round could be "the greatest they've ever seen." Granted, I mash buttons with the best of them, but I'm not that great. Third, the boxers don't even talk. I want to hear Roy Jones Jr. challenge Bernard Hopkins to a spelling contest. I want to hear Hopkins retort by schilling for goldenpalace.com. I want to hear Mike Tyson threaten to eat his opponents' children. \nDespite these qualms, "Knockout Kings 2002" is an entertaining game. There are various different fighting modes available to gamers. Players can participate in multiplayer tournaments, allowing for a maximum of eight fighters, or they can opt to create their own boxer in career mode (Strangely enough, your manager strongly resembles Robert Shapiro… Where's Don King when you actually need him?). The graphics are impeccable -- details ranging from the crystal clear JumboTrons in the background to Lennox Lewis' sweat-drenched dreads are captured in stunning detail. Facial renderings are accurate and clearly show wear and tear through each round.\n"Knockout Kings 2002" true to its source has built-in two player appeal, which makes for some truly hilarious smack talk among gamers. Boxing fans, or those who truly relish talking trash to their nearest and dearest would be well advised to pick this game up. Otherwise, gamers would be better off waiting around for "Knockout Kings 2003." Either way this game is well worth a rental.\n
(03/25/02 6:26am)
Last Thursday, the IU Auditorium in conjunction with Phoenix Productions presented "Buddy: The Buddy Holly Story." All in all this musical adaptation of rock legend Buddy Holly's all-too-short life was an entertaining diversion but failed to capture Holly's essence and immense talent. \nAmerican Musical and Dramatic Academy alumnus Erik Hayden headlined "Buddy" as the main character. He was likable enough -- his acting was passable while his singing and musicianship were truly impressive. But ultimately his performance couldn't elevate the material.\nAs written by Alan Janes, "Buddy" doesn't delve deeply enough into this deeply missed performer's life. The show is structured around music, which consists primarily of Holly's greatest hits, but character development and story structure are sorely lacking. For instance, Holly meets his future wife Maria Elena Santiago (Ali Spuck) and within seconds he's professing his love for her and declaring the fact that he's going to marry her. A few minutes later he does, and soon thereafter she's pregnant. Who knew they had the time to have sex? While I realize Holly met and subsequently married Maria Elena within two weeks, there must have been more to the romance than what's presented, and it would have been nice to see this.\nReally, the only insight "Buddy" gives is that Holly's mother continually pestered him to eat, he made the music he wanted and got pissed when his handlers, notably producer/schister Norman Petty (William Elsman), suggested that he not wear his trademark glasses while performing. The dialogue was predominantly uninspired and corny and did little to further the narrative.\nDespite this abundance of criticism, "Buddy" wasn't void of enjoyable moments. As previously mentioned, Hayden impressed as Buddy (going so far as to impressively play guitar behind his head and shimmy up and down a stand-up bass while rocking out). Nicholas Kohn, who portrayed The Big Bopper, added humor and decent musical stylings to the performance. Michael Croiter and Brendan R. Murphy, who respectively play Jerry Allison and Joe B. Maudlin, members of Holly's backing band The Crickets, infuse their minimal roles with charm and musical precision. \nFor the most part the cast was very good -- the only noticeable exception being Eric Sosa, who played the role of Ritchie Valens as though he were playing Ricky Martin, only fruitier. His singing was sharp, and he was far more "Living La Vida Loca" than "La Bamba." While good, the cast wasn't good enough to elevate "Buddy" beyond the ill-conceived script.\n"Buddy: The Buddy Holly Story" was mildly entertaining, but it wasn't worth the time or money spent seeing it -- I'd much rather have watched IU's victory over Duke. However, if you're interested in learning more about Holly I'd recommend taking a history of rock class here on campus, downloading some of his tunes or simply visiting a music store and picking up a "best of" album.
(03/21/02 11:05pm)
What sort of society do we live in? Apparently a pretty screwed-up one. Fox, the network behind such gems as "When Animals Attack," " Who Wants to Marry A Millionaire?" and television's first nationally broadcast gorging contest, has finally scraped the bottom of the barrel with "Celebrity Boxing." But hey, if you can't beat 'em, why not join 'em?\nWashed-up celebrities unite and fight in hopes of recapturing the fame that now eludes them. The first of these innumerable bouts (barring future lawsuits) featured three matches and aired last Wednesday with an encore airing this evening at 8 p.m. \nThe first match of the evening pitted Danny "Boom Boom" Bonaduce against Barry "The Hammer" Williams. Williams is known solely for playing the man-perm sporting Greg Brady on the lame '70s sitcom fixture "The Brady Bunch." Williams couldn't "hammer" a nail, let alone the Partridge Family's redheaded stepchild. I always knew this guy was a wuss -- Fox was just able to prove it. The highlight of this uneventful match up was the fact that Mario "Saved by the Bell" Lopez, a.k.a. A.C. Slater, was Bonaduce's corner man, and sans gheri curl.\nThe second match-up featured Vanilla Ice, a.k.a. Robert "Bi-polar" Van Winkle (I'm sure the mental health community loved that monicker), versus Todd "Diff'rent Strokes" Bridges. Let's just say Ice hit the mat quicker than his album sales slumped. The fight was complete crap with Willis doling out a beatdown that could only be honed in prison (a place he knows all too well). Again, the fight sucked, and the most entertaining element of it was the fighters' posse. Ice had Ultimate Fighting Champion Tank Abbott in his corner, but alas, it wasn't enough.\nThe evening's title card event pitted Tonya Harding against Paula Jones. Long story short, Jones must give blows much better than she takes them. But who's surprised? Tonya "Crowbar" Harding is a fighter of pedigree with a kisser to boot and Paula Jones is a lover not a fighter. I wouldn't even want to go mano a womano with her and I'm a fairly strapping young dude. Had Harding fought her original opponent, Amy "Battafuoco Forever!" Fisher, audiences would have been treated to a much better fight. That's assuming Fisher isn't strapped. \n"Celebrity Boxing" racked up some pretty impressive ratings, scoring in Neilsen's top 20 for the week, and as such, there will be future fights. But who's worthy of suiting up for the cracking of skulls? For my money I'd love to see a fight between Emmanuel "Webster" Lewis and Bridges' troubled TV sibling Gary Coleman featuring guest referee and Howard Stern regular Beetlejuice. \nOther match-ups sure to entertain would be Dustin "Screech" Diamond versus Jaleel "Urkel" White or Mark-Paul "Zack Attack" Gosselaar versus Bonaduce's boy Mario "Albert Clifford" Lopez with guest referee Mr. Belding. These people deserve beatings for all the bad teen television they produced, which we endured at an entirely too impressionable age.\nThe music industry is rife with conflict. Why not prime it for some explosive fisticuffs? Fred "Nookie" Durst and Scott "I'm the second coming of Christ" Stapp could finally stop talking smack and start delivering it. Eminem and Everlast would surely deliver a "heart-stopping" battle. Mostly, I'd just like to see a no-holds-barred, barbed wire cage match pitting the ever-fading Backstreet Boys against the soon-to-be-fading N'Sync. Give 'em bats, broken beer bottles, Molotov cocktails, prison shanks, cattle prods and various other tools of torment and sic them on one another.\nThese match-ups would all be well and good were it not for the fact that this whole enterprise seems rigged. Each winner sported a goldenpalace.com tattoo upon their back, and their foes didn't. Goldenpalace.com is an on-line gambling operation that also sponsors dunderheaded boxer Bernard Hopkins. He sports a larger tattoo during his bouts and constantly sings the praises of his pimps following his innumerable victories. Despite my supposed journalistic integrity, I'll blatantly support goldenpalace.com. They're the absolute bomb track. And remember to be on the lookout for my goldenpalace.com sponsored kickball, tee-ball and lawn darts teams. We're gunnin' for ya!
(03/21/02 5:00am)
All About the Benjamins - R\nStarring: Ice Cube, Mike Epps, Eva Mendes\nDirected by: Kevin Bray\nShowing: Showplace East 11\nThe latest film from prolific rapper/actor O'Shea Jackson (otherwise known as Ice Cube) is titled "All About the Benjamins," and as the title might suggest Cube probably did this mediocre action comedy for the "phat" cash.\nCube stars as a down-on-his-luck bounty hunter by the name of Bocum (pronounced "book 'em," subtle, huh?). Bocum's a weird cat: He buys $600 fish, blatantly steals Allen Iverson's 'do and for some reason, actually digs the Miami Heat. He begins the film by shocking '80s teen movie star Anthony Michael Hall (playing the hilariously dubbed hillbilly thug Lil' J) in the nads with a tazer. The rest of Cube's screen time is spent glaring at and doling ass-whoopings to Reggie (Cube's "Next Friday" co-star Mike Epps), a two-bit hustler to whom he grows attached in a convoluted scheme to retrieve stolen diamonds and a lost winning lottery ticket.\nCube not only stars in, but also co-wrote "All About the Benjamins," and the results are only slightly better than the P. Diddy effort of a few years past. He pens many funny lines, most of which are spouted by the acerbically-tongued Epps (i.e. "When I get my welfare check I'm gonna put a hit on you!"), but quips are about the only thing this script has to offer. Much of the action is dull and nonsensical; so much so that villains fire a misdirected rocket at Bucum and Reggie's hoopty one second and disappear the next without furthering the skirmish. It's like Cube and his boys were sitting around chilling when all of a sudden he decided it would be dope to throw a rocket launcher into the flick for no apparent reason. \nWhile Cube is a likeable presence in whatever he does, Epps is the real find in this flick. He may be, as many will most assuredly call him, the poor man's Chris Tucker, Chris Rock or yes, even Dave Chappelle, but what's wrong with that? Those guys are funny, and Epps is as well. Although the leads are appealing, "Benjamins" suffers from the lack of a convincingly evil primary villian, and this brings the proceedings down considerably. Tommy Flanagan ("Braveheart") portrays Williamson -- the Irish heavy with an annoying accent lacking the strength necessary to knuckle his way into a pint on St. Paddy's Day.\n"All About the Benjamins" isn't a good flick but it's entertaining enough to catch at home with friends -- it's more a Lincoln or a couple Washington's and less a Hamilton.\n
(03/21/02 5:00am)
What sort of society do we live in? Apparently a pretty screwed-up one. Fox, the network behind such gems as "When Animals Attack," " Who Wants to Marry A Millionaire?" and television's first nationally broadcast gorging contest, has finally scraped the bottom of the barrel with "Celebrity Boxing." But hey, if you can't beat 'em, why not join 'em?\nWashed-up celebrities unite and fight in hopes of recapturing the fame that now eludes them. The first of these innumerable bouts (barring future lawsuits) featured three matches and aired last Wednesday with an encore airing this evening at 8 p.m. \nThe first match of the evening pitted Danny "Boom Boom" Bonaduce against Barry "The Hammer" Williams. Williams is known solely for playing the man-perm sporting Greg Brady on the lame '70s sitcom fixture "The Brady Bunch." Williams couldn't "hammer" a nail, let alone the Partridge Family's redheaded stepchild. I always knew this guy was a wuss -- Fox was just able to prove it. The highlight of this uneventful match up was the fact that Mario "Saved by the Bell" Lopez, a.k.a. A.C. Slater, was Bonaduce's corner man, and sans gheri curl.\nThe second match-up featured Vanilla Ice, a.k.a. Robert "Bi-polar" Van Winkle (I'm sure the mental health community loved that monicker), versus Todd "Diff'rent Strokes" Bridges. Let's just say Ice hit the mat quicker than his album sales slumped. The fight was complete crap with Willis doling out a beatdown that could only be honed in prison (a place he knows all too well). Again, the fight sucked, and the most entertaining element of it was the fighters' posse. Ice had Ultimate Fighting Champion Tank Abbott in his corner, but alas, it wasn't enough.\nThe evening's title card event pitted Tonya Harding against Paula Jones. Long story short, Jones must give blows much better than she takes them. But who's surprised? Tonya "Crowbar" Harding is a fighter of pedigree with a kisser to boot and Paula Jones is a lover not a fighter. I wouldn't even want to go mano a womano with her and I'm a fairly strapping young dude. Had Harding fought her original opponent, Amy "Battafuoco Forever!" Fisher, audiences would have been treated to a much better fight. That's assuming Fisher isn't strapped. \n"Celebrity Boxing" racked up some pretty impressive ratings, scoring in Neilsen's top 20 for the week, and as such, there will be future fights. But who's worthy of suiting up for the cracking of skulls? For my money I'd love to see a fight between Emmanuel "Webster" Lewis and Bridges' troubled TV sibling Gary Coleman featuring guest referee and Howard Stern regular Beetlejuice. \nOther match-ups sure to entertain would be Dustin "Screech" Diamond versus Jaleel "Urkel" White or Mark-Paul "Zack Attack" Gosselaar versus Bonaduce's boy Mario "Albert Clifford" Lopez with guest referee Mr. Belding. These people deserve beatings for all the bad teen television they produced, which we endured at an entirely too impressionable age.\nThe music industry is rife with conflict. Why not prime it for some explosive fisticuffs? Fred "Nookie" Durst and Scott "I'm the second coming of Christ" Stapp could finally stop talking smack and start delivering it. Eminem and Everlast would surely deliver a "heart-stopping" battle. Mostly, I'd just like to see a no-holds-barred, barbed wire cage match pitting the ever-fading Backstreet Boys against the soon-to-be-fading N'Sync. Give 'em bats, broken beer bottles, Molotov cocktails, prison shanks, cattle prods and various other tools of torment and sic them on one another.\nThese match-ups would all be well and good were it not for the fact that this whole enterprise seems rigged. Each winner sported a goldenpalace.com tattoo upon their back, and their foes didn't. Goldenpalace.com is an on-line gambling operation that also sponsors dunderheaded boxer Bernard Hopkins. He sports a larger tattoo during his bouts and constantly sings the praises of his pimps following his innumerable victories. Despite my supposed journalistic integrity, I'll blatantly support goldenpalace.com. They're the absolute bomb track. And remember to be on the lookout for my goldenpalace.com sponsored kickball, tee-ball and lawn darts teams. We're gunnin' for ya!
(03/07/02 12:42am)
Bones - R\nStarring: Snoop Dogg, Pam Grier\nDirected by: Ernest Dickerson\nOne downfall of the otherwise tremendous DVD format is that you might more inclined to view films that you would too embarrassed to catch at the theater, and with better sound and picture no less. \n"Bones" is one such film. It's a flick that I'd held some hope for, after all it stars the Doggfather himself, but this urban horror blunder isn't worth the celluloid it's printed on.\nSnoop stars as Jimmy Bones, a pimp-tastic '70s street hustler with a heart of gold. Bones, being the upstanding dude he was, attempts to foil the convoluted plot of a bunch of third-rate pushers and a crooked cop who want to inundate his hood with a massive "crack rock candy mountain." And what does a brother get for his good deeds?... Stabbed... a lot. \nIn some films, namely those that are more expertly made, this would be the flick's conclusion, but Snoop can't go down like a little punk. Thus he's resurrected as a whack suit-wearing demonic ghost-like figure who slays his attackers and randy, drug-addled teenagers with equal aplomb. Snoop in full-on Freddy Krueger regalia failed to scare me. However, the prospect of more rappers filling the claws of monsters in imminent inanely conceived horror flicks is enough to spur some fear-induced trouser-wettings. Imagine if you will: Lil' Bow-Wow dollin' it up as Chucky, Busta Rhymes swilling chianti as Hannibal Lecter or Eminem swinging the axe of either Michael Myers or Jason Vorhees. Scary huh? \nThere wasn't a single redeeming quality about this disc. The commentary featuring gifted cinematographer-turned-hack-director Ernest Dickerson, screenwriter Adam Simon (the man responsible for "Carnosaur"!) and Snoop Dogg could put an insomniac to sleep. Snoop spends a majority of his scant voice-over singing the praises of his co-star and former Blaxploitation queen Pam Grier. One might think he'd want to give her the "Snoop Bounce." The picture and the sound are lacking by industry standards, and the film itself, as previously mentioned, sucks.\nSnoop, while being incredibly charasmatic, cannot elevate this crap beyond its tired ghettofied horror cliches. "Bones," along with his other recent effort "The Wash," clearly show that he needs to be a whole helluva lot more discriminating when choosing future feature film roles. Audiences need not throw this Dogg a bone -- this flick is dead on arrival.\n
(03/06/02 5:00am)
Bones - R\nStarring: Snoop Dogg, Pam Grier\nDirected by: Ernest Dickerson\nOne downfall of the otherwise tremendous DVD format is that you might more inclined to view films that you would too embarrassed to catch at the theater, and with better sound and picture no less. \n"Bones" is one such film. It's a flick that I'd held some hope for, after all it stars the Doggfather himself, but this urban horror blunder isn't worth the celluloid it's printed on.\nSnoop stars as Jimmy Bones, a pimp-tastic '70s street hustler with a heart of gold. Bones, being the upstanding dude he was, attempts to foil the convoluted plot of a bunch of third-rate pushers and a crooked cop who want to inundate his hood with a massive "crack rock candy mountain." And what does a brother get for his good deeds?... Stabbed... a lot. \nIn some films, namely those that are more expertly made, this would be the flick's conclusion, but Snoop can't go down like a little punk. Thus he's resurrected as a whack suit-wearing demonic ghost-like figure who slays his attackers and randy, drug-addled teenagers with equal aplomb. Snoop in full-on Freddy Krueger regalia failed to scare me. However, the prospect of more rappers filling the claws of monsters in imminent inanely conceived horror flicks is enough to spur some fear-induced trouser-wettings. Imagine if you will: Lil' Bow-Wow dollin' it up as Chucky, Busta Rhymes swilling chianti as Hannibal Lecter or Eminem swinging the axe of either Michael Myers or Jason Vorhees. Scary huh? \nThere wasn't a single redeeming quality about this disc. The commentary featuring gifted cinematographer-turned-hack-director Ernest Dickerson, screenwriter Adam Simon (the man responsible for "Carnosaur"!) and Snoop Dogg could put an insomniac to sleep. Snoop spends a majority of his scant voice-over singing the praises of his co-star and former Blaxploitation queen Pam Grier. One might think he'd want to give her the "Snoop Bounce." The picture and the sound are lacking by industry standards, and the film itself, as previously mentioned, sucks.\nSnoop, while being incredibly charasmatic, cannot elevate this crap beyond its tired ghettofied horror cliches. "Bones," along with his other recent effort "The Wash," clearly show that he needs to be a whole helluva lot more discriminating when choosing future feature film roles. Audiences need not throw this Dogg a bone -- this flick is dead on arrival.\n
(02/28/02 5:00am)
Brotherhood of the Wolf - R\nStarring: Samuel Le Bihan, Mark Dacascos\nDirected by: Christophe Gans\nShowing: Showplace East 11\n"Brotherhood of the Wolf" is an inspired and wondrously over-the-top French import that expertly melds highly stylized kung fu, monster movie clichés and lavish period drama. Wrought with bone-crunching fisticuffs, scantily clad prostitutes and garish mauling via a hell-bent wolf, the film appeals to the 14-year-old boy that resides inside each of us.\nChristophe Gans' film is very loosely based upon the mythos surrounding the Beast of Gévaudan, which purports that a "beast" preyed upon villagers in the southwestern mountains of France during the reign of Louis XV. Under these pretenses naturalist Grégoire de Fronsac (Samuel Le Bihan) and his Native American counterpart Mani (Mark Dacascos) are summoned to Gévaudan in hopes of vanquishing/studying the murderous creature.\n"Brotherhood" could best be described as an anime-fueled incarnation of Michael Mann's "The Last of the Mohicans." The movie is absolutely ridiculous (going so far as to transition between a woman's bare breast and a snowy mountaintop… subtle, huh?) and entirely derivative, but in a good way. Filmgoers will easily spot essences of "Sleepy Hollow," "Predator," "From Hell," "Jaws" and "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" throughout. Gans is the French fantasy equivalent of Tarantino. He takes beloved elements from other filmmakers' works and incorporates them into his own to winning effort. "Brotherhood of the Wolf" is a pop-culture fetishists' wet dream.\nLe Bihan and Dacascos acquaint themselves quite nicely in their respective roles. And more importantly, they are more than adept during fight sequences in which they brandish tomahawks and machetes while roundhouse kicking and uppercutting onslaughts of uncouth Frenchman in the chops.\n"Brotherhood," despite being one hell of a good time, is not without its faults. Clocking in at 142 minutes, the film is simply too long. Shaving 10 minutes off this excessive runtime would speed things up considerably. Also, the character of Mani is occasionally reduced to a mere stereotype in his prototypically stoic silence. In all honesty, I eagerly anticipated the moment in which an aristocratic wiener would hurl refuse from his carriage spawning a single tear from Mani's eye.\nDespite these minor complaints I'd highly recommend those of you with a strong stomach and a penchant for harnessing your inner 14-year-old see "Brotherhood of the Wolf." Besides, the flick boasts more bare breasts and brawls than your run-of-the-mill frat party, and if that isn't a recommendation what is?\n
(02/20/02 6:17pm)
Cel Damage\nRating: T for Teen\nFor: X-Box, Gamecube\nBy: EA Games\nFor those of you who grew-up loving both video games and cartoons (and who didn't?) "Cel Damage," despite its frequent missteps, could be the game for you.\nQuite literally, it's a cross between "Twisted Metal" and the old Chuck Jones Warner Bros. cartoons, with a splash of "The Ren and Stimpy Show" boldly thrown into the caustic mix.\nGamers can choose from 10 characters, 36 weapons and 12 cartoony levels, as well as three different modes of play including Deathmatch, Capture the Flag and Racing.\nEach of the characters is fairly entertaining ranging from a smack talking' gangster duck named Fowl Mouth (subtle, huh?) to a mawkish "Dungeons & Dragons" playing dork named Flemming. And it's equally fun to see these characters vanquished by means of wood chipper, axe, baseball bat, chainsaw and Tommy gun.\nThe gameplay is almost identical to that of the "Twisted Metal" series. Gamers select a given character with a specific vehicle and square off against AI opponents or their buddies in a head-to-head demolition derby of death. Whereas "Twisted Metal" accentuates the darker elements of the genre, "Cel Damage," despite its violent premise, is pretty much all love and light by comparison. It's a highly stylized cartoonish racing/combat game.\nHowever, unlike "Twisted Metal Black," the series' latest entry, "Cel Damage" is far too difficult because of levels that are entirely too small. The lack of large and complex levels makes gamers easy prey for their competition, and that becomes frustrating quickly and frequently. The small levels also prevent gamers from implementing much strategy into their game.\n"Cel Damage" is a good-looking (essentially it\'s a cartoon sprung to violent life) and original game, and is at least worth a rent to fans of the vehicular combat genre of video games. However, because of its annoying design it's not worth a purchase, unless of course you're a sadomasochist.\n
(02/20/02 4:34pm)
Crossroads - PG- 13\nStarring: Britney Spears, Anson Mount, Zoe Saldana, Taryn Manning\nDirected by: Tamra Davis\nShowing: Showplace East 11\nHe said: \"I might be a liar... but this movie sucked\"\nBritney Spears, a bastion of "chastity" and "virtue," the diva minus the diva-esque persona, the girl next door and the impending media mogul. Britney wears many hats, and the latest one's that of actress in the vapid teeny-bopper road trip flick "Crossroads." And for some reason this hat seems to be ill-fitting.\nBritney's acting chops and this flick suck... hard. Spears stars as Lucy, a lily-white virgin-valedictorian. Once graduation passes she rekindles her friendships with childhood friends Kit (Zoe Saldana), a prom queen priss, and Mimi (Taryn Manning), a pregnant chick from the trailer park. \nThe girls, along with Ben (Anson Mount), the "ruggedly charming" ex-con with a heart of gold (cliche check anyone?) set out on an inane road trip to Los Angeles. Laughably absurd events litter their pilgrimage; the girls give a rousing karaoke rendtion of "I Love Rock 'n Roll," because as Britney was recently quoted in Rolling Stone as saying, "I love Pat Benatar!" The song is by Joan Jett, bubblehead! Lucy's character recites trite poetry from her journal, which coincidentally enough winds up being Britney's new hit single "I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman," and is later butchered in a duet between the reigning teen pop songstress and the ever-sensitive Ben. I wanted to puke, and could have, had I not been laughing so uncontrollably.\nThe highly controversial scene, which depicts the popping of Britney's cherry by big, bad Ben, contains about as much taste as a rice cake. The two do the deed before an open window overlooking a beach. What if some kid were building a sand castle out there? How perverse and insensitive are these people? Apparently very, because I had to endure this crappy flick which they were both at least somewhat responsible for.\nThere's very little redeemable about "Crossroads," with the exception of the scenes in which Britney pranced about in her skivvies, and these finer moments were in abundance. The flick's a real disappointment despite being lensed by Tamra Davis, the director behind such modern-day comedic masterpieces as "CB4," "Billy Madison" and "Half Baked"; but then again, Britney's about as funny as outtakes from "Schindler's List."\nBritney, while cute, sucks as an actress. Perhaps she'd be better in a different vehicle, but I doubt it. \n
(02/20/02 5:00am)
Crossroads - PG- 13\nStarring: Britney Spears, Anson Mount, Zoe Saldana, Taryn Manning\nDirected by: Tamra Davis\nShowing: Showplace East 11\nHe said: \"I might be a liar... but this movie sucked\"\nBritney Spears, a bastion of "chastity" and "virtue," the diva minus the diva-esque persona, the girl next door and the impending media mogul. Britney wears many hats, and the latest one's that of actress in the vapid teeny-bopper road trip flick "Crossroads." And for some reason this hat seems to be ill-fitting.\nBritney's acting chops and this flick suck... hard. Spears stars as Lucy, a lily-white virgin-valedictorian. Once graduation passes she rekindles her friendships with childhood friends Kit (Zoe Saldana), a prom queen priss, and Mimi (Taryn Manning), a pregnant chick from the trailer park. \nThe girls, along with Ben (Anson Mount), the "ruggedly charming" ex-con with a heart of gold (cliche check anyone?) set out on an inane road trip to Los Angeles. Laughably absurd events litter their pilgrimage; the girls give a rousing karaoke rendtion of "I Love Rock 'n Roll," because as Britney was recently quoted in Rolling Stone as saying, "I love Pat Benatar!" The song is by Joan Jett, bubblehead! Lucy's character recites trite poetry from her journal, which coincidentally enough winds up being Britney's new hit single "I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman," and is later butchered in a duet between the reigning teen pop songstress and the ever-sensitive Ben. I wanted to puke, and could have, had I not been laughing so uncontrollably.\nThe highly controversial scene, which depicts the popping of Britney's cherry by big, bad Ben, contains about as much taste as a rice cake. The two do the deed before an open window overlooking a beach. What if some kid were building a sand castle out there? How perverse and insensitive are these people? Apparently very, because I had to endure this crappy flick which they were both at least somewhat responsible for.\nThere's very little redeemable about "Crossroads," with the exception of the scenes in which Britney pranced about in her skivvies, and these finer moments were in abundance. The flick's a real disappointment despite being lensed by Tamra Davis, the director behind such modern-day comedic masterpieces as "CB4," "Billy Madison" and "Half Baked"; but then again, Britney's about as funny as outtakes from "Schindler's List."\nBritney, while cute, sucks as an actress. Perhaps she'd be better in a different vehicle, but I doubt it. \n
(02/20/02 5:00am)
Cel Damage\nRating: T for Teen\nFor: X-Box, Gamecube\nBy: EA Games\nFor those of you who grew-up loving both video games and cartoons (and who didn't?) "Cel Damage," despite its frequent missteps, could be the game for you.\nQuite literally, it's a cross between "Twisted Metal" and the old Chuck Jones Warner Bros. cartoons, with a splash of "The Ren and Stimpy Show" boldly thrown into the caustic mix.\nGamers can choose from 10 characters, 36 weapons and 12 cartoony levels, as well as three different modes of play including Deathmatch, Capture the Flag and Racing.\nEach of the characters is fairly entertaining ranging from a smack talking' gangster duck named Fowl Mouth (subtle, huh?) to a mawkish "Dungeons & Dragons" playing dork named Flemming. And it's equally fun to see these characters vanquished by means of wood chipper, axe, baseball bat, chainsaw and Tommy gun.\nThe gameplay is almost identical to that of the "Twisted Metal" series. Gamers select a given character with a specific vehicle and square off against AI opponents or their buddies in a head-to-head demolition derby of death. Whereas "Twisted Metal" accentuates the darker elements of the genre, "Cel Damage," despite its violent premise, is pretty much all love and light by comparison. It's a highly stylized cartoonish racing/combat game.\nHowever, unlike "Twisted Metal Black," the series' latest entry, "Cel Damage" is far too difficult because of levels that are entirely too small. The lack of large and complex levels makes gamers easy prey for their competition, and that becomes frustrating quickly and frequently. The small levels also prevent gamers from implementing much strategy into their game.\n"Cel Damage" is a good-looking (essentially it\'s a cartoon sprung to violent life) and original game, and is at least worth a rent to fans of the vehicular combat genre of video games. However, because of its annoying design it's not worth a purchase, unless of course you're a sadomasochist.\n
(02/13/02 5:32pm)
Abre Los Ojos (Open Your Eyes) - R\nStarring: Penélope Cruz, Eduardo Noriega\nDirected by: Alejandro Amerábar\nThe source material for Cameron Crowe's recent effort "Vanilla Sky," was "Abre Los Ojos," a bizarre sci-fi/drama lensed by talented young director Alejandro Amenábar, who achieved great success last year with "The Others." Amenábar is the Spanish equivalent to M. Night Shyamalan ("The Sixth Sense"). He's a young dude churning out otherworldy flicks of mind-boggling proportions topped-off with twisted endings.\n"Abre Los Ojos" is a much darker film than its United States remake. So far as narrative goes the two are almost identical. But the way characters are depicted (Amenábar's are far more cruel to one another) and the films' closing moments couldn't be more different. Where "Vanilla Sky" left viewers with a sense of hope, "Abre Los Ojos" is scathing, cynical, cold and violent.\nEduardo Noriega headlines the film as César, a wealthy restauranteur who has the finer things in life delivered to him on a silver platter. He's in the midst of a casual affair with Nuria (Najwa Nimri), an incredibly possessive and emotionally unstable sex-kitten. Soon after, his best friend Pelayo (Fele Martínez) brings a gorgeous actress named Sofía (Penélope Cruz) whom he met at the library to César's birthday party. César is immediately smitten with the captivating actress with no thought to his friend's feelings. Nuria gets jealous, all hell breaks loose and fantasy and reality begin to intermingle.\nThe film is fascinating, and much like Amenábar's "The Others," the camera work is first-rate. The acting, while good, is no match for the American cast which consisted of Tom Cruise, Penélope Cruz, Cameron Diaz and Jason Lee. Cruz especially has improved upon her original performance, and it's interesting as a viewer to see the difference between the two.\nThe films of Amenábar and Crowe, while similar on the surface really couldn't be much different. The original has none of the pop culture references of Crowe's update, focusing instead on the sci-fi elements of the story. All in all, I prefer "Vanilla Sky" to "Abre Los Ojos," but both are interesting and well worth a look.\n
