Indiana Daily Student

Black Voices: Moving on isn’t always such a bad thing

The loss of a friendship or a relationship feels terrible. When you’re constantly surrounding yourself with someone, you create a bond and remain hopeful that the person is in your life forever.

I remember when I met my first “real” best friend. We went to the same grade school and were in Girl Scouts together. Our friendship continued to grow throughout Girl Scouts.

We spent literally every day together. Whether it was on the weekend — when we had our troop meetings — or at school, we were always together. Inseparable.

It wasn’t until middle school that I started to notice we were growing apart. As scary as middle school was, we were trying to figure out where we fit in. 

We stopped doing Girl Scouts, because, back then, it was considered lame to still be in it. So, we found other extracurricular activities to get involved in. 

Related: [Black Voices: Black Student Union focuses on the best interest of Black students on campus]

We would always speak to each other when we were in passing periods. But that didn’t last.

Once we went to different high schools, our friendship really started to fade. Because of distance, we had lost our connection to each other. 

Although we followed each other on social media, once we began to make new friends, we really started growing apart.

It took me a while to realize it, but growing apart isn’t a bad thing. In fact, I'm glad we did. When life happens, and we start figuring ourselves out, it’s natural to grow out of things. 

Just like we grow out of our old shoes and clothes, we grow out of people — as harsh as it may seem.

Being separated from someone that you spent so much time with, you have to adjust to their absence. The feeling of sadness and anger overwhelms you because of how hopeful you wish things were different. 

As our friendship ended, I often look back at what we could’ve done differently to prevent certain things from happening, regardless of whether we wanted it to end or not. 

Should I have worded what I said better? 

Maybe I should have done X, Y, and Z. But we are human. We make mistakes and have our faults. It’s what you choose to do after that really matters. 

I learned to allow myself to grieve an ending. Afterward, I take time to reflect on how I can do better in future situations, move on and look forward to new and better things coming my way.

Some of the future relationships I will form are either meant to be for a reason, season or a lifetime. It is up to me to figure out which category they belong in.

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