Over the past few years I've struggled to understand why people why people obsess over the holiday season. I only recently have really begun to think about my side of it, though — rather than figure out why everyone counts down the days to this time of year, I wanted to figure out why I wasn’t so infatuated with it.
I’d like to make it clear that I’m not Ebenezer Scrooge. I don’t even want people to speculate about that. There are many things I love about this time of year.
For instance, I love going for walks during twilight and seeing holiday lights flicker on. I love winter sunsets, especially when snow is covering the ground and I’ve come back from a day of sledding. I love making cookie boxes for friends and neighbors and delivering them in our Radio Flyer wagon.
Recently, though, I realized when I was listing off things in my head I love about the holidays, not a single idea revolved around the commercialism of the season.
I don’t really love presents.
If days such as Black Friday and Cyber Monday didn’t exist, I’d be totally okay. I despise seeing notifications on my phone that read, “Here are the best deals on Amazon this Cyber Monday!” and “These are the items everyone is asking for this season!”
When I was little, I bought into the commercialism of the holiday. I didn’t know any better. I wanted Barbies and giant Lego sets and fancy gadgets. But, in recent years, those things didn’t enamor me. Obviously, as I got older, I figured I wouldn’t really want toys. But it kind of shocked me that I didn’t even want what other teenagers were asking for. It shocked me even more that I didn’t think I wanted anything.
So, last year, to try and save myself from becoming the Scrooge I adamantly denied I am earlier in this piece, I focused on a more DIY-oriented holiday. And, no, I didn’t do it to stick it to anyone. I didn’t do it because I was trying to show that my mindset is better than anyone else’s, because it isn’t.
I did it, as trite as this may sound, to find out why I was celebrating – in my family’s case – Christmas. Because we aren’t religious. We don’t go to church, we don’t worship anything. I think it’s great that people do, but we simply aren’t those people, nor do I want to be. We don’t have giant celebrations with family every year. We don’t send out a Christmas card.
We were never a traditional family when it came to celebrating Christmas. And I think that’s why I had so much difficulty in recent years figuring out why we were celebrating it in the first place and why we would make such a big deal out of buying big presents.
And that’s where DIY helped me.
Last year, I went through all of our boxes filled with family pictures. There are four people, besides myself, in my family – my mom, dad, sister and brother – so I decided to pick a photo for each of them that featured that person and I together. I framed them, wrapped them and put them under the tree.
And, for the first time in a while, I felt really proud of the presents I had given my family.
My family loved them as much as I did. Some tears were even shed. That’s when I knew what I was hoping this DIY experiment would confirm – that when you’re celebrating with people you love, how big or small the present is doesn’t matter. I think what I’m learning is, actually, the people you’re closest to in life like to see that you’re happy, too. And when they see you’re proud of the present you gave them, that gives it a whole new meaning.
So, from here on out, I’m trying to focus on gifts that represent something other than stuffing big company’s pockets with more money. The process of putting thought into what will make someone happy, even when they didn’t ask for it, is an unbelievably fulfilling feeling. Because it shows that you didn’t just look at their wish list and buy them something off of it.
It shows that you really know them and you don’t need a list to help guide you.
That’s what the holidays mean to me now. It’s simply a time to show someone that you know them, you love them and that will never change.
