During the first few days of April, I think we’re all a bit wary about the things we’ve read on the Internet.
Because of April Fools’, we become mistrustful not only of those we surround ourselves with, but with media we normally consume as well.
I don’t normally do things on April Fools’ Day because it’s too predictable.
Everyone is already sleeping with one eye open.
If you’re like me, you’re also clutching a can of Silly String if there ever were to be a sneak attack on you.
Although I enjoy being a prankster, as often as I enjoy pulling someone’s leg, someone else usually pulls mine right back.
I have gone to sleep and encountered rolls of Mini Babybel Cheese on top of my duvet.
I have opened the bed of my truck to find thousands of golf tees scattered all around.
Why cheese? Why tees?
I still am a bit perplexed myself.
But now, with the rise of digital journalism, I have found we can’t even trust the strangers who produce our media.
In recent years I have trusted countless hoaxes posted to Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.
This year I refuse to be that gullible.
In order to combat these falsities, the past few days I’ve been reading everything as if it might may be a joke.
When I read the news this way, I became more aware about just how much we assume to be true on the Internet in our everyday lives.
Although it’s fraudulent behavior, I’ve come to find it makes difficult news far more palatable to digest.
Here are just a few examples:
You see, Avicii didn’t actually retire from his live performance career.
He simply took one too many pills in Ibiza with Mike Posner.
He’ll be back soon.
The only “form of punishment” Donald Trump thinks women who receive abortions might receive is picking out their least favorite flavored Dum-Dums at the doctor’s office.
The United States’ stocks rose Wednesday? That must be a joke.
The upcoming election? That must be a joke gone wrong.
Surprise! We’re getting an entire new slate of candidates.
College Mall is getting a makeover, but the fact that 365 by Whole Foods won’t be opening till after I graduate cannot be true.
It must be opening this Saturday — that would definitely return my sanity (and be the best prank of all time).
Although you might think I’m overly skeptical about all of this tomfoolery, you should just remember my opinion when you start freaking out about an article you read that says Justin Timberlake is moving to your remote town in Minnesota.
He’s not.
If only the test I had this afternoon was a joke, that’d be a nice surprise.
But alas, I’ll probably just end up with whip cream covered something or other that will be a pain in the ass to clean up.
Heed my advice: don’t take any chances.
Trust no one.
jlkarl@indiana.edu
@jkarl26
