I’ve always lived under the impression that outside of my family, I can count my ride-or-dies on one hand. And I’ve also lived under the impression that if I can count any at all, I must be a pretty lucky duck.
My best friend is one of those people. We’ve grown up together. And although we have known each other for the whole of our adult/young adult/angsty preteen lives, when we decided to move in together after our freshman year, everyone in the peanut gallery had something to add to the decision.
There was the classic: “You don’t really know someone until you live together!”
Or the lesser used but equally supportive: “Don’t you two actually want to stay friends?”
And my personal favorite, the straight up: “This is a mistake.”
So, like the real friend I am, I’m going to offer you some actual advice — hopefully a little better than the gems featured above.
Every BFF’s living situation is different.
When folks tell you that the move is bestie suicide, channel your inner T-Swift and shake it off. Only you can decide whether your personalities are going to mesh well enough to live together. Don’t feel bad if the answer ends up being no, either. You can love your best friend and not want to live together. Sometimes the decision is going to be between lower rent and preserving your friendship (but that’s up to you).
Establish rules right at the top.
Just because you trust someone with your biggest secrets doesn’t necessarily mean you should trust them with your Tupperware. Instead of just assuming that because you and your best friend know each other well enough not to push one another’s buttons, lay down some ground rules. There are a lot of things about your best friend that you may not know before you sign that lease. So save yourself some trouble and set some ground rules before the semester starts.
It’s OK to fight sometimes.
I love my best friend, I really do, but the two of us can be super irritating. It’s easy to ignore some of the subtle annoyances that pop up when you’re hanging out because at the end of the day you can go back to your separate corners. When you’re in the same home everyday, frustrating stuff can and will build up. You don’t like how she doesn’t wash her dishes immediately after eating? Let her know. Don’t hold onto things that bother you. Be honest, be real and you’ll be much happier in the end.
Value your independent spaces.
When people told my best friend and I that we couldn’t really know what we were getting ourselves into until we moved in, they were sort of right. Everyone needs some time to themselves every once in a while, so when you get it, take it.
Moving in with anyone is a pretty big move, especially if you’re a homebody like me. Your space and your friendship are valuable, so treat them with respect. And that means washing those dishes.
You know who you are.
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