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Sunday, May 19
The Indiana Daily Student


Fifty Shades is shady

Stalker. Controlling. Jealous. Arrogant. Scary. ?Threatening.

These are not my own words, but the exact adjectives Anastasia Steele uses to describe her love interest, Christian Grey, in the best-selling novel “Fifty Shades of Grey.”

“I’m too frightened to show you any affection in case you flinch or tell me off or worse — beat me,” she says.

I could rattle off a good list of 50 reasons why you shouldn’t go see or even attempt to read “Fifty Shades of Grey,” but the column space I’m allotted in this newspaper isn’t vastly abundant.

So instead, I’m going to start with the most important reason: “Fifty Shades of Grey” is an abusive relationship passing off as romance.

The suave, racy businessman who’s taken the world’s bookstores by storm has some sexy one-liners up his sleeve, like this one: “Alaska is very cold and no place to run. I would find you. I can track your cell phone — remember?”

Yeah, stalking and invasion of personal privacy is so sweet and caring.

“If you struggle, I’ll tie your feet too. If you make a noise, Anastasia, I will gag you.”

Mhm, that guy could charm the pants off a snake. Not that he needs permission or anything.

And then of course, Christian’s personal mantra on ?relationships: “If that is how you feel, do you think you could just try and embrace these feelings, deal with them, for me? That’s what a submissive would do.”

That’s marriage material, right there.

If you haven’t gotten the point I’ve been trying to make with these quotes I’ve copied straight from the text, I’m going to throw you through a big loop. “Fifty Shades of Grey” glorifies and idealizes abuse under the disguise of love and BDSM.

There’s nothing romantic about a character that threatens, beats, ignores consent and impedes on his partner’s boundaries to fulfill his ?desires.

Acting like this story is a level of romance we common folk can achieve is just as dangerous as holding “Romeo and Juliet” as the exemplary model of teenage love affairs.

But it’s just fiction, right?

We’re competent enough to determine what’s reality and what’s fantasy.

The people have no problem establishing that thin line products such as “Fifty Shades” like to whip and straddle.

The saying is, “You are what you eat,” and the same idea can be said about the media you consume. Frankly, it says a lot when the two leading actors, Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan, regret filming the movie and joke to viewers not to see it.

“There’s a part of me that’s like, I don’t want anyone to see this movie — just kidding,” Johnson said in a Glamour interview.

After visiting a sex dungeon to prepare for the film, Doran mentioned in Elle UK that he had to take a long shower before touching his wife or newborn baby again. I mean, Doran compared the mass appreciation of the movie to Hitler’s rise to power. You can’t make that up.

Honestly, if you want to read smut about characters that are carbon copies from another piece of work, you can just log on to Fan Fiction.

It’s free, the sex is at least 10 times more erotic than E.L. James’ milky writing and there’s less chance you’re reading a piece of trash that endorses physical and ?emotional abuse.

In response to the hype about this film, organizations like the National Center on Sexual Exploitation, London Abused Women’s Center and Stop Porn Culture have sponsored the campaign #50DollarsNot50Shades. The movement asks patrons to donate $50 to shelters for women in abusive relationships instead of seeing the movie.

It’s a better-spent Valentine’s Day to give your money to a good cause and cheap chocolate at the drug store than seeing a film that will leave you with emotional scarring like permanent heartburn from overly buttered popcorn.

Hopefully, Mr. Grey will not see you now.

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