Curiosity kills intolerance

It annoys me when straight people ask, “When did you know you were gay?” It also annoys me when straight people ask, “What did your parents say?” But it doesn’t matter that these questions are annoying — because they’re important.

The answers to these questions themselves are important, yes, but what’s most important is the fact that they’re being asked in the first place.

It can be argued that these types of questions de-normalize gays, that is, they distance us from straight people by requiring us to explain something about our
lives that straight people don’t have to explain.

Although we are normal, it’s obvious that we’re still different. And these types of questions not only bring awareness to the fact that we’re different — they celebrate it. It’s this sincere curiosity on the part of straight people that actually normalizes us.

You see, back in the days of gay activist Harvey Milk and gay hater Anita Bryant, most straight people weren’t curious about gays. They were terrified of them.
They didn’t care to know when gay people knew they were gay, or what their parents said when and if they found out. All they cared about was how to stay the hell away from them.

Today, with support for same-sex marriage in the United States at an all-time high of 59 percent, straight people are more accepting than ever. And with this acceptance comes a natural curiosity. Homosexuality is nothing new, of course, but, provided you don’t count Ancient Roman bathhouses, tolerance of it is.

It’s our duty as gay Americans to share our world with others in order to increase this tolerance. We need to show straight people that, yes, we are a little different, but we’re still normal.

I understand it gets repetitive saying stuff like, “No, the ‘catcher’ is called the bottom. The ‘pitcher’ is called the top — cut it out with the sports analogies,” over and over again, but, if that’s what it takes for society to grow, so be it.

The more of these questions we answer, the better our relationships with our straight counterparts will be. Pretty soon, that 59 percent will grow to 69 percent. Then 79, 89. Of course, 100 percent of America will probably never be supportive of same-sex marriage, but we can get close.

As the old saying goes, knowledge is power. This knowledge has the power to create equality. And that’s something to be hopeful about.

So the next time a new friend asks, “How did you come out?” sit them down and tell them the same story you’ve told 1,000 times with the same gusto as when you told it the first time.

And when they ask you how you can tell if someone’s gay, show them a picture of Ryan Seacrest.

zipperr@indiana.edu