8 reasons to go to college

Raylan Alleman, a contributing pastor and editor for Fix the Family, a heartfelt and severely misinformed website run by two Catholic men dedicated to rebuilding the flaws in the secular family unit, may have crossed a line with his latest blog update.

His attempt at teaching Catholics and Christians showcases exactly why you should never interpret the Bible alone.

In response to FixtheFamily.com’s “6 (+2) Reasons Not to Send Your Daughter to College,” we’ve developed the “Eight Reasons You Should Definitely Send Your Daughter (And Your Son!) to College.”

1. They will attract the wrong types of people.

Oh, Lord, how they will attract the wrong types of people. The wrong types of people might even be attracted to them.

Most likely, they will just become the wrong types of people, and the wrong types of people are the best types of people. It’s just a surefire guarantee of a good time.

2. They will be near occasion of sin.

They won’t just be near occasion of sin. They will most likely be standing right next to it or on top of it. Or they might come across it in the wee hours of the morning.
In college, sin lurks around every corner. It’s like a giant scavenger hunt with alcoholism and temptation.

3. They will not learn to become wives, mothers, husbands or fathers.

No, they’ll probably learn something useless like business or problem solving. Or history. Or the classics.

They may not know how to make a halfway-decent dinner, but they’ll have a master’s degree in astrophysics to clean their kitchens with.

4. The cost of a degree is becoming more difficult to recoup.

Think of debt as a fun, lifelong and crippling reminder of the greatest four years of their lives.

5. They have nothing to prove.

They could literally paint themselves blue, walk around in Skele-toes and become specialists in yodeling. Nobody will care!

6. It will be a near occasion of sin for their parents.

You might be proud of your kids. Might is a strong word, but weirder things have happened.

7. It could interfere with religious vocation.

We didn’t build a mosque, two Catholic churches and at least five or nine Protestant and non-denominational houses to get in the way of students’ freedom to worship as they please. Want to be a priest? Go nuts.

And finally:

8. They will regret it.

That’s the best part!

­— opinion@idsnews.com
Follow the IDS Editorial Board on Twitter @ids_opinion.