Guide to coffee and tea drinkers

College students, and by extension college campuses, tend to run on two vital ingredients — anxiety and caffeine.

While you might be stuck in your own niche of coffee or tea consumption, it isn’t hard to recognize the other species who guzzle down the stuff in hopes of curbing sleepless nights and curing hangovers.

Here’s a brief — and admittedly stereotypical — guide to distinguish your fellow caffeine addicts.

Sorority Girls

I have it on good authority that the primped and letter-wearing ladies tend toward ordering passion teas with lots of Splenda and frappuccino of the vanilla bean variety. Some may venture out of the box to order a vanilla latte, but you better believe it will be non-fat and sugar free with lots and lots of Splenda. Whatever they order, it’s going to be sweet, sweet, sweet.

Obscure hipsters and writers

Dirty chai seems to be the forerunner for the cardigan and ironic footwear crowd, which seems appropriate given their chai is probably just as dirty as their unwashed hair. The hipsters tend to head in the opposite direction of the sorority crowd, preferring their drinks bitter as the poetry they scribble in their Moleskine notebooks.

Overworked single moms

Not true members of the collegiate crowd, but just as overworked and underappreciated. These women have a propensity to order their drinks in the ridiculous Trenta size, needing as much caffeine fuel as possible. Unsweetened green iced teas are a popular favorite given their relatively inexpensive price and unlikelihood to stain teeth.

Kelley students and business types

These micromanagers and future CEOs love their black coffee with no added sugar or creamer, cups upon cups upon cups of the stuff. They’ll occasionally drop a wild card into the mix and add a shot of espresso, but these coffee drinkers are the biggest offenders when it comes to multiple cups a day. After all, they’ll have more time to sleep once they’ve secured those six-figure salaries.

Jacobs vocalists and performers

If your voice is your instrument, hot tea with lemon and honey is the miracle cure for all throat ailments and issues. Coffee and espresso drinks are too harsh on the vocal chords, so tea reigns supreme as the go-to product for music students.

Crazy regulars with their crazy drinks

We all know a person with an absolutely unreasonable coffee order. When they roll up to Starbucks, your can see the fear in the barista’s eye as they call off their regular order. Their drinks are usually something as outlandish as a quadshot vanilla latte with 10 pumps of sugar-free syrup, skim milk, six Splendas and the blood of a virgin baby cow. And a piece of pumpkin bread for the road.