The federal government doesn't care about any of you, and that's OK

The federal government has some very  important things on its mind.

The debt crisis, the unemployment rate and the new “Boy Meets World” sequel are all pertinent issues.

What’s not important to them is all of you. At least, not individually.

Upon the release of a secret order from the National Security Agency requesting information from Verizon about phone calls made within the United States, which was later revealed to be part of an extensive and frigthening NSA surveillance program called “PRISM,” panic ensued.

My Facebook feed was filled up with friends concerned about their privacy. Even though the data and phone records the NSA collected didn’t have specific identities (just numbers without records of the people attached to them), people thought they were getting exposed.

Let me tell you: it’s okay.

The government couldn’t care less about you.

The government does not care about a conversation you had with your mom about Uncle Greg’s new wife.

The government does not care about Tiffany hanging out with your boyfriend last night (although it was totally wrong of her), or your secret chat with your ex.

Every time a decision is made in Congress, it seems the masses are shouting “they don’t care about us!”

But our phone calls?

Suddenly, we say the government wants to know all about them.

If they want to know more about phone calls, let them.

Barack Obama poring over my phone call record actually seems pretty awesome, if I really start to  think about it.

I’m going to start dropping hints about what I want for my birthday. If he really is listening, like Santa Claus or Jesus, Barry might come through for me.
 
Now don’t get me wrong; I don’t want the government to control my life or anything.

I enjoy having the freedom to bad-mouth the president as I play Xbox all day eating entire pizzas, doing nothing at all to benefit the well-being of our country. That freedom makes America what it is today.

But we should understand that for the government to do things that benefit all of us and keep us secure, they need to know a little bit about us.

It seems people can’t tolerate the idea of having to give up a bit of privacy in order to have a bit of security.

How is the government going to help our country if they know nothing about us?

Actually, I wish the government knew everything.

What we ate for breakfast, what color underwear we’re wearing, what career we will end up with, just everything.

Then they could go back in time about 15 years and stop Will Smith from reproducing.  
So complain now that the government doesn’t give us any privacy and wants to know everything about us.

Because when this all blows over, we’ll go back to what we do best: complaining that the government doesn’t care about us.

­— lewicole@indiana.edu