The pain of stains

Spring has sprung. A quick glance at the 10-day forecast tells me that spring is officially here.

There is a chance that we could be celebrating the first 70-degree weather of the year Saturday. If you’re like me, you’re hoping local bars have their decks ready for action. But if you’re like my roommate, you’re preparing for the next wave of snow storms to arrive from Denver.

Skepticism aside, we’re crawling into the last month of the school year. My columns have explored the perils of leggings, the joys of thrifting, the absence of color and the proper uses of UGGs. You may be wondering what’s left for me to complain about, and my answer is plenty.

This column is dedicated to the lost souls who think stained clothing is appropriate. Yes, accidents happen and sometimes you may be forced to walk around campus with a splash of ketchup or a dribble of Gatorade running down your shirt.

For the man exiting the Kelley School of Business the other day who was wearing khakis with stains ingrained into his left leg, I offer no explanation or excuse.
We’re not kindergartners who get more paint on ourselves than our pictures. In fact, the great majority of IU students haven’t had an art class since stepping on
campus.

If not for a messy lunch or a burst of inspiration in the studio, what’s your excuse? Why does it look like your pants haven’t been washed since winter break? Did I miss the runway show that had models walking around in clothing littered with the remnants of last night’s dinner and hints of this morning’s breakfast?  

Every store from Kroger to Target carries a full aisle of laundry detergent solutions for even your toughest stains. You have four weeks to pull it together.

There are too many cleaning options for your college self to look like 5-year-old lunchroom you.
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— johnsbri@indiana.edu