Weather or not to dress lightly

It happens every year.

After months of bundling ourselves in fleeces and parkas we jump with excitement at the first chance to bare our flesh.

Your heart rate jumps when you see temperatures will be reaching the mid-50s, and in a moment of temporary insanity you decide to leave the house in short sleeves.

Why did you think it’d be warm enough to pull out your flip flops? Were you raised in Siberia? Are you covered in fur?

If the answer to these questions is “no,” then put on the brakes.

Are you really trusting a creature who scampers through dirt and burrows underground to tell you that spring has come early? Get it together, Bloomington.

Yes, you’ve become accustomed to icy winds and freezing rain, but this is at least the 18th winter you’ve gone through, and you know the drill by now.

But since half of you seem to have forgotten, let me refresh your memory. Weather under 30 degrees still necessitates a coat. Weather under 40 degrees allows you to wear your coat open. This helps you avoid sweating when you reach the inevitable heat wave awaiting you at campus buildings.

By the way, can we get IU to update our heating and cooling systems? We’ve got the No. 1 basketball team in the country and an unranked furnace.

We’ve reached the 50s. Contrary to popular belief among campus males, this is not flip-flop and T-shirt weather.

Don’t disappoint me this weekend, Bloomington. If I see you dressed inappropriately, I’m inclined to talk about you to my friends and maybe tweet a picture.

Ditch the short sleeves. The highs this weekend do not support the exposure of your pasty skin. Put on a t-shirt and pull your life together.

­— johnsbri@indiana.edu