Going for the Gold

Question: I have been friends with a girl I have become more and more interested in for quite some time. Because of our friendship, I always get too nervous to tell her how I feel, but I would like to see if we could take things to the next level. I don’t want things to get awkward if she doesn’t feel the same way. What should I do?

Well, we have all been there, so I’ll start with a friend of mine who inspired me in these situations. We’ll call her Alice. Alice used to never tell a guy when she had feelings for him, even when they seemed mutual. When she finally gained the confidence to tell him how she felt, after they no longer were living in the same city, he professed his mutual liking for her and wished he had known the day he met her. On two different accounts now, Alice has been upfront with the men who caught her eye, and so far, each of them have not only mutually been interested but were turned on to her confidence to be honest and forward. Now, of course, Alice’s theory does not work in every situation all the time, but the chances of being pleasantly surprised are high.
Because we naturally spend time wondering what would happen if we took things one step forward with the people we like, we will only regret it forever if we don’t do something about it. Best-case scenario, you get what you both wanted, but shied away from. Sometimes in the college, it seems like no one wants to be in a relationship or commit or has time for “strong feelings.” In reality, there is a lot of fear of rejection that keeps us from pursuing something we want.

Rejection is, of course, scary, but the best thing you can do for yourself is get comfortable with saying “who cares?” Think about it, either you miss something that could have been a wonderful opportunity, maybe love, maybe a job, you get the idea. Worst-case scenario, you express your feelings and they aren’t mutual. So maybe three or four days are spent with a little less communication between the two of you, but that is really the worst-case scenario. The whole world, let alone your whole network, won’t know about the rejection or even recognize it as “rejection.” If it doesn’t work out, remember that you are still the same, confident, awesome, fun loving person you were before, and practice and experience make perfect. Either you take the chance or spend the rest of time wondering. It’s better to know now so that you can win big or move forward to find something even better.

How should you approach the girl? Don’t pull a Ted Mosby “I love you” right out of the bag. Instead, start to flirt a little, make it clearer you have feelings for her and then just tell her how you feel. Express that you enjoy the time you spend together, pointing out what you like most about her and ask her to go out for a bite to eat during the week. Good luck, and don’t forget the most inspirational college advice — “YOLO.”