Me, my high school self and I

Though most IU students would shriek at the idea of returning to high school, I’ve found the process to be quite satisfying.

Here’s a shocking secret: I didn’t read in high school.

Like a surprising portion of American students, I skipped, skimmed and SparkNoted my way to a high school diploma.

I learned only what was necessary to maintain a B- average in my high school’s Honors English class.

“Beowulf.” “The Hobbit.” Even “Frankenstein.” You name it, and I almost read it.

Yet here I am, a grammar nerd with an unshakable penchant for writing.

Despite the astounding talent to bullshit my way through high school one pop quiz at a time, my attitude toward reading and writing changed dramatically in college.

It needed to, or else I’d be $15,000 in the hole.

After a strange period of book guilt during my freshman year, as well as a fateful reading of Kurt Vonnegut’s “Breakfast of Champions,” I have since found myself on a quest to redemption. I’m on a mission to read all of the books I should have read in high school.

Whether I was too busy playing “Halo” or ingesting unnecessary gallons of Mountain Dew, the 16-year-old version of Jeff LaFave couldn’t have cared less about reading a book.

The 22-year-old Jeff is here to redeem himself.

During this semester alone, I’ve knocked out Hemingway’s “The Sun Also Rises,” Douglas Adams’ “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” and a half dozen pieces by Indianapolis’ favorite son, Vonnegut.

I’m currently working on Salinger’s “Catcher in the Rye,” and my next piece will be Alice Walker’s “The Color Purple.”

To all my English teachers, the saints in silk ties I never bothered to read for during my high school years, I’m sorry. You were right all along.

The books on our syllabi really were worth reading in seven days, even if my largest concern at the time was playing my flea-market guitar like an idiot.

Though I no longer have to deal with high school’s random quizzes about last night’s reading, I frequently find myself neck-deep in a classic book I once tucked in the bottom of my backpack and intentionally “forgot to read” for the next class.

Besides, compared to college-level rhetoric textbooks, high school literature is a delightful escape.

Last year, I registered for my free Monroe County Public Library card. An entire catalogue of classic literature and high school staples has been quite literally at my fingertips since.

It was the best decision I’ve made since eating red velvet pie.

It’s not difficult to see how my passion for being a bookworm is a quieter opinion in this town, but I can still be found cruising through Bloomington’s bars on a Saturday night.

The only difference is that I’ll be in the corner, sharing my whiskey with a copy of “Fahrenheit 451.”

It pains me to mention how many fellow IU students continue with their methods of “doing the minimum” and “just getting by” with their reading, but I can’t blame their procrastination. Being lazy is fun.

Every time I hear students complain about how “there’s nothing on TV” or “all music sounds the same,” I ask them what they’re reading.

They’re usually not.

There’s a tremendous stigma floating around that reading isn’t cool — that only nerds and bowtie aficionados deserve to hang out at the library.

Of course, this myth is spread by people who don’t read books.

­— jlafave@indiana.edu