What Your Halloween Costume Says About You

Ah, Samhain.

The one day when you can finally let out the crazy person simmering inside you.
I think all of us, perhaps without even realizing it, pounce on Halloweekend as an opportunity to let our freak flags fly.

Costume choices can reveal something essential about the wearer, besides just how cheap and/or lazy they felt when they picked it out.

I figured it might be helpful for those without my gift of sartorial insight to make a handy guide of what you’ll see this weekend and how to make sense of it all.

Hence, I present:

Kelly’s key to what Halloween costumes really mean

A sassy feline
The student who chooses to go as a cat wants to be both cuddly and desirable. She admires the understated slinkiness of the leopard’s prowl, and she sees this as her ideal: quietly sexy, but ready to pounce when the time comes.

She might feel she is usually a bit too reserved, and putting on cat ears is a way of letting her inner animal out
to play.

Firefighters, soldiers and police
The men and women who dress as any of these public figures enjoy feeling powerful. For women, the combination of sexiness and authority is appealing.

After all, we’re still usually cast as the damsels in distress, so whoever dresses up like a cop or soldier is ready for a little role reversal. She doesn’t need to be rescued.
In fact, she’d like to take even more control of her life. The man who wears these costumes enjoys his privileged dominance.

He’s looking for someone whom he can rescue, someone who will make him feel manly and powerful. He doesn’t like his authority questioned.

Vampires
Those who dress as bloodsucking fiends feel they have a dark side that isn’t adequately expressed.

They long to be edgy but don’t quite know where to start. Vampires are mainstream but also fairly morbid, so going as Dracula or one of his sexy brides is a good outlet for feeling just a tad rebellious.

The man or woman dressed like a bloodsucker is also probably a little freaky, but it’s on the down-low.

Zombies
Zombie Halloweekenders have a sense of humor. It’s not a glamorous costume, so they don’t take themselves too seriously.

They’re not materialistic or superficial, and they enjoy simple pleasures like getting a little dirty.

All they really want is to have a good time, and they have no patience for fussiness or pretension.

Native Americans, geishas, Mexicans, blackface and other stereotypes
White folks who go out in these costumes are culturally insensitive and probably won’t appreciate you explaining why.

They see their costume as perfectly acceptable and will resist any attempt to change their mind.

They probably also love mainstream pop culture and dominant social norms. Let them flock together, and shake your head at their ignorance.