IUSecrets collects students' thoughts

Debby Herbenick, who has taught human sexuality courses at IU since 2003, noticed many times her students seemed distraught and stressed, so she decided to create a place in which anyone could share their issues anonymously, no questions asked.

She founded IUSecrets this fall, accumulating letters from members of the IU community with secrets enclosed.

She shares a select few in her classrooms, on the IUSecrets Tumblr and publicly throughout campus.

Herbenick, a sexual health researcher and educator at the Kinsey Institute, began the IUSecrets project as a class assignment.

“I wished students could see what others are going through,” Herbenick said.
She said teaching facts and explicit information is easy, but she always struggled to teach empathy.

The results of the initial project were highly encouraging, Herbenick said, as almost everyone participated, and class attendance rose to 100 percent the first day secrets were revealed and shared.

“Even if they look fine on the outside, everyone has something they are going through,” Herbenick said.

Herbenick said she had long been a fan of postsecret.com, which served as the inspiration to IUSecrets. Postsecret.com, a website started in 2007, gathers secrets from people across the world, anonymously submitted on postcards decorated by senders.

In Herbenick’s mind, the site’s broadness was its one flaw. She said she wanted it to be local.

She said to reassure viewers that people with these secrets were relatable to them, she had to localize the idea and create a blog confined to members of the IU community.

Nancy Stockton, director of Counseling and Psychological Services at IU, said it’s human nature to share secrets, and blogs such as IUSecrets fulfill that need.

“Because of what I do, they don’t necessarily surprise me,” Herbenick said.

Stockton said people sometimes need to have their emotions or experiences validated by confiding in another person. She connected this humanistic necessity with confessionals in churches, as well as with criminals being caught in consequence of sharing their wrongdoings with another person.

“Sometimes people need to get a weight off their chest,” Stockton said.

IUSecrets covers a vast array of topics. Some are positive, others are negative.

Herbenick said she often reads positive secrets about family and friends, relationships and sex. Others focus on school, health or desires.

People also speak about the fact they have never been kissed or had sex, and still other secrets relate to depression, loneliness, relationship worries and sexual abuse.

“Some are really striking,” Herbenick said.
Herbenick said she understands everyone deals with their own set of struggles.

The IUSecrets project shines a light directly on IU students. However, Herbenick said they are just like the rest of the world.

“We are a snapshot of humanity,” Herbenick said.

Herbenick said she has received roughly 1,000 letters up to this point, and she has read every single one.

Her office showcases a small collection of the secrets she has received, several displaying the creative side of IU students with drawings, photographs and colors meshed together with their secrets.

Herbenick said she has a clear favorite of the bunch.

The secret reads, “I’m a 22-year-old guy, and I have Bieber Fever.”