Zeppelin politics

Ah, 2012, the year of our unlikely demise and, as I’m sure you’re well aware, another presidential election.

Okay, I admit it, I’m probably more cynical than a 21-year-old college student from the suburbs has any right to be.

But I can’t listen to any of these politicians’ speeches without imagining the team of PR experts, image professionals and demographic analysts behind them.
Quite frankly, I’m sick of it.

Why do we even bother listening to the heartfelt appeals of presidential hopefuls when deep down we know they aren’t telling us much more than what they think we want to hear?

I’m not even talking about the big, decisive issues.

Take, for instance, that in his speech at the Republican National Convention, Rep. Paul Ryan, R-Wis., vice presidential candidate, mentioned that his iPod playlist, “starts with AC/DC and ends with Zeppelin.”

First of all, do we judge his character based on what’s on his iPod? Is that a thing?
I went through a pretty heavy Avril Lavigne and Good Charlotte phase in sixth grade for which I don’t want to be punished.

On the other hand, I understand the strategy.

It humanizes him and, hey, I like those bands, too.

Maybe Paul Ryan and I could hit up Bear’s Place, chug a Hairy Bear and do a karaoke duet.

This is exactly what I’m imagining Ryan’s political image team was striving for.
 It most likely spent hours debating which artists to include, testing for audience favorability and, after what I imagine to be a long and tumultuous debate, giving those bands the PR green light.

All of a sudden, Ryan’s personal appeal feels that much more impersonal.

Also at the RNC was Mike Huckabee who, in reference to GOP Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney’s Mormon faith, said, “I care far less as to where Mitt Romney takes his family to church than I do about where he takes his country.” Fine. Admirable, even.
But, Huckabee, you actually do care. A lot. Admit it.

This is a quote coming from a man who personally invoked a nationwide Chik-Fil-A Day as a pledge of support to CEO Dan Cathy and his Christian values. 

It comes from a man who has a public history of not only disliking Romney but questioning his religion, as he did while Romney campaigned for the 2008 GOP nomination.

The point is, Mike Huckabee almost certainly cares a lot more about Mitt Romney’s religion than he’s telling us. And we know it.

So, why bother saying anything at all?

Because we want to hear it. The image consultants and political analysts
know that.

This is not a bash on the Republican Party.

The Democrats are equally as guilty of image manipulation, and their recent convention was just as bad.

I simply don’t see the point of sitting through all these speeches when we all know politicians are telling us only what they’ve been told is okay to tell.

And if I find out Ryan doesn’t actually rock out to “Thunderstruck” in the mirror when he’s alone, I give up.

­— srweiss@indiana.edu