Capitalism and gender: the wacky combo

If you’re one of the countless women on planet Earth, you know the true definition of the word pain.

Yes, that’s right, for millennia the modern pen’s abrasive, masculine-centric design has forced women away from the written word. It’s a man’s world, and that’s why pens are for men.

But no longer.

BIC feels your pain. That’s why they’ve spent years and countless dollars developing a writing utensil that reflects the soft, feminine ideals that the world of writing implements has so long neglected.

The BIC Cristal For Her Ball Pen boasts an “elegant design — just for her” and a “thin barrel to fit a woman’s hand.”

Its stylish, clear, plastic casing and pastel colors will surely alleviate the unavoidable anxiety women feel when faced with the fast-paced, testosterone-charged world of letter writing.

But wait, there’s more. Don’t trust that cheap pregnancy test you got at CVS? Now you have another option!

Target, which, like most large-scale retailers, tracks individual purchasing habits in order to target marketing campaigns, can now know you’re pregnant before even you do!

Using algorithms that propose likely future product purchases based on previous shopping trips, Target knows to start printing out diaper coupons about 7 months after someone starts buying a lot of unscented lotion.

No word yet on any horny 10th-grade boys with wads of diaper coupons.
The larger point here is that, like any country so heavily inundated with capitalism, our perceptions of just about every aspect of society, gender included, are tied to consumer behavior.

That’s why most women pay more for their dry cleaning, most men hate buying tampons, and why Nils Pickert, the German dad who wears a skirt and nail polish out of solidarity with his son, gets so much flak for being a good father.

It’s why BIC thinks women need a pen specially designed for the feminine hand and why Target thinks buying lotion means you’re pregnant.

But most of all, it’s why none of us even notice most of these things until they are pointed out to us for what they are — absolutely absurd.