Barack "Taxein" Obama

Barack “Taxein” Obama is at it again. He’s announced a plan to extend the Bush tax cuts for only the first $250,000 of taxable income and only for the next year. Any income above that will be taxed at 39.6 percent like it was in the Clinton years. That’s more than 4 percent higher than their current liability. Obama hates job creators.

This could not come at a worse time; if the job creators see their tax shelter dim, they’re likely to go back to their summer homes to sit with the A/C on, and we will have six more weeks of economic stagnation. As an unemployed graduate, I must put my foot down to show I’m not hostile to job creators.

We need the job creators to jovially stuff our stockings, nailed to poorly maintained chimneys across America, with employment. Sweet, slightly higher-than-minimum-wage employment. All they want in return is a little bit of our median income, a cup of milk and cookies.

Even some of Obama’s colleagues in Congress are baffled by his abandonment of the once majestic job creator. They won’t come back if you clap for them like Tinker Bell. Now, if we throw them a few bones, they will gain the self-confidence needed to take the plunge and invest their money in publicly traded businesses again.

It’s true, job creators suffer from a severe case of low self-confidence. They’re like the kids on “My Super Sweet 16”: If they don’t get at least an Escalade for their birthday, their night is ruined. How are they supposed to roll out with the gang in a Sedan? You can’t create a job from a Yaris, Mr. Obama. You need at least a hybrid Sonata to feel comfortably above your employees.

The American economy needs to keep the wheels greased with plenty of people paying the lowest marginal tax rates in the developed world or things will turn bad, like in Europe. Job creators in Europe are practically an endangered species.

The House Republicans have it correct. We need to limit the amount of uncertainty the job creators face. This is most fashionably accomplished by re-gifting the money we were going to fund services that you and the 311 million other people in this country use on a daily basis and give it to the job creators in the form of a tax cut. What were they going to do with the extra money saved, anyway? Buy things?

Obama is obviously pandering to the bottom 98 percent of Americans who enjoy the work the job creators let them do. Wow, Obama, way to thumb your nose at 17 million Americans who manage more than 30 percent of our nation’s wealth.
We can’t take that money from them; they were using that doing something, probably creating jobs for people in other countries.

­— nicjacobs@indiana.edu