Ode to Google

I am not pro-corporation.

Although I am not quite convinced that there is a worldwide conspiracy where corporations secretly hold all the reins of power and want only the worst for workers, I’m highly skeptical of any major company just in case. But there is one exception: I love Google.

I can’t help it. It may maintain huge databases that track every search I make, violate all sorts of privacy concerns, shamelessly assault me with ads tailor-made to my likes and dislikes in a dystopian fashion that would have made even Orwell blush.

But come on, for Pac-Man’s 30th anniversary, it turned its logo into a functioning Pac-Man game . How can I help but love Google?  

Practically speaking, Google is amazing, of course. But love is not practical, it’s emotional. I don’t love Google because in 0.09 seconds I can figure out how many pounds are in a stone (14, by the way).

I love it because the Google logo doodle of the day is a big bowl of ice cream on the 119th anniversary of the ice cream sundae.

Google is different because it does everything it can to not seem like a major corporation, expending effort for things that have no obvious economic incentive.

April Fools’ Day is a great example. This year, Gmail “introduced” a new application called Gmail Motion that would allow you to compose emails by standing in front of your webcam and making wild motions with your body that would correspond to words in the email, thus allowing for more “efficient human computer interaction.”

What makes Google awesome is that it doesn’t just invent a cute fake idea for the sake of a mediocre holiday; it included an entire production video, interviews with specialists and helpful graphics that illustrate some of the most useful phrases (like “Who’s going to water my plants?,” which, according to the motion guide, can be written by raising a right index finger to the sky).

That’s a lot of dedication to make me giggle, but that’s Google’s great secret, of course. Yahoo! feels quaint and nostalgic yet not quite worth it, like catching an episode of “Boy Meets World” at four in the morning. Bing just tries too hard. It can’t compare to the feeling of good will that Google has carefully cultivated in me for years.

Google may have a net worth of $190 billion, but it still takes the time to make me laugh, and I love it for that. As a result, maybe I am too willing to give up certain privacy concerns and information to one of the largest corporations in the world. I just trust that Google will be a benevolent dictator one day.

­— mebinder@indiana.edu