Worst of Bloomington

Best of Bloomington has had 10 years of greatness to report about our beloved college town. It’s also had a decade’s worth of garbage, and that certainly hasn’t changed.

Worst Late-Night Munchies: Reheated Vegan Mashed Potatoes from Collins Living-Learning Center — What’s even in vegan mashed potatoes? Potatoes? Ingredients aside, be wary of said potatoes, since the reheated version tastes as if it just came out of a concrete mixer.

Worst Coffee Shop: Starbucks — Somehow this corporate behemoth continues to win the Best Coffee Shop category, much to the dismay of anyone who has ever had their coffee. Sure it’s in the Indiana Memorial Union, but there’s other coffee out there people!

Worst Annual Event: “Fire Insert-Football-Coach’s-Name-Here” campaigns — Another year, another losing record for IU football. Too bad Bill Lynch couldn’t hang his hat on that Insight Bowl appearance to keep his job for another season.
Common practice would suggest hiring a coach of a high enough caliber to avoid this annual conversation, but here I’m proposing we just hire totally unqualified candidates each year and make the firing/hiring a true annual event. After all, the fun is in the chase, is it not?

Worst Campus Philanthropy: Those Dudes Who Beg for Beer Money on the Corner — A worthy cause, no doubt. But those guys are drunk enough. If you really want to help, don’t call the cops on people because of noise.

Worst Place to Meet Singles: Night Moves — As happening a locale as Night Moves might be, it’s not exactly the eHarmony of the Bloomington singles scene. The frequenters are not your average collegiate socialites; then again, if desperation and debauchery are your thing, then it might be worth a try.

Worst Place for Haircut: That Friend of a Friend Who Cuts Hair Sometimes — Been there. Done that. Not worth the try — unless you don’t mind going all James Carville on everybody for awhile. Or, for the ladies, going all “G.I. Jane.”

Worst Place to Take Visiting Parents: Rock Quarries — Not that I would ever advocate going to the rock quarries in general (DANGEROUS, OH NO!), but probably not the best place to take your parents either. The quarries are exciting when you’re a limber twenty-something evading potential doom, but my mom can barely skip rock anymore, let alone climb around on them.

Worst Student Athlete: Guy Who Wears His High School Football Jersey to Intramural Games — A faux pas so unfortunate that it makes it hard to decide whether to be disgusted or embarrassed on his behalf. Fortunately, that decision is made much easier when he puts on excessive amounts of athletic gear and proceeds to take the game way too personally once you get on the field.

Worst Local Drink: Warm Shots of Dark Eyes — The not-so-perfect way to start off an evening, the taste of rubbing alcohol makes you wish you had put it in the freezer hours ago and not worried so much about whether or not people were going to like that much Ke$ha on the playlist. Guaranteed to either ruin your judgment or your evening as a whole by 11 p.m.