Titanic failure

An epic Greek myth come to life, “Clash of the Titans” attempts to remake the original 1981 film version of the story of Perseus, Zeus, Hades and Medusa. And fails miserably.

The plot has been remade to make it more “epic” in scope, to the point that it is overblown and unwieldy. Instead of a classic hero’s quest, the film has added more angst, with man fighting to rid himself of the gods. Perseus (Sam Worthington) is the son of Zeus (Liam Neeson) and is a half-god who insists he wants to complete his quest as a man, all the while whining like a little girl.

Perseus must go consult the Stygian Witches to find out how to kill the Kraken. Along the way he fights some giant scorpions and some guys made of wood for some reason. The witches tell him to go kill Medusa, and he gets in a lucky shot to cut off her head. Throw in a rushed ending to this series of random events and you have a paper-thin “plot.”

The effects, which were the highlight of the original, are passable at best, with some cool monster designs poorly executed. The 3-D really makes the plot holes jump right off the screen, but not much else.

It is important to note that unlike “Avatar,” which was filmed in 3-D from the beginning and has a very smooth depth of field, “Clash of the Titans” was converted to 3-D in post production, leading to a diorama effect of several staggered flat layers.

The plot (what there is of one) is full of blatant problems that make it hard to stay with the film. Sam Worthington can’t seem to do much more than look tough and spout one-liners, and I’m not entirely convinced he isn’t just a CG character himself. The shots of the gods look cool at times, but the effects fall apart with even casual scrutiny.

Wooden acting, poor design, stilted dialogue and a climax that feels like an afterthought makes this film one to skip, unless you enjoy mocking the occasional bad movie. If so, you’ll have a great time with “Clash of the Titans.”