Radish: University to open college for Magic

It was announced Monday that IU will be creating a new college for the 2010-11 academic year that will focus on the darker and more evil side of academia.

Following a drunken Little 500 weekend romp, President Michael McRobbie and the IU board of trustees awakened Monday to find that in their stupor they had okayed the establishment of the new school.

“We realize that it’s not a great idea, but the paperwork’s already done and the plans are in place,” McRobbie stated. “And if we’re going to do this, we might as well do it right.”

Called the College of Black Arts and Mad Sciences, its focus will lie on topics typically thought by the mainstream academic community to be too taboo or idiotic for serious study, including alchemy, necromancy and supply-side economics.

The new college will also include scientific laboratory classes not typically found in a college curriculum. Courses such as animal-human hybrid biology and the physics of doomsday devices are some of the new offerings for the upcoming fall semester.

When contacted, a spokesperson for the chemistry department commented that “Magic isn’t real! You people are stupid as hell. I quit.”

Despite criticisms that the new department will bring nothing but shame to the University, McRobbie defended the decision. “You may laugh now, but I promise that IU will have the No. 1 Voodoo Department in the country by 2020.”