Radish: Bipartisan bill passes

The air around Washington has been quite different in recent weeks; some have even described it as “electric.” The reason for the excitement? Congress believes it has finally written and passed a politically flawless bill.

First, the entire process was completely transparent. When writing the actual document, senators tweeted each 140 characters as soon as they came up with them.

Furthermore, not one ounce of “pork (or any other meat)” was later added to the bill.

Thirdly, from the first reading, the total time required to ingest, digest and pass the bill was one full week.

And most importantly, the effort was completely bipartisan.

The bill? Reinstatement of Pluto to official status as a standard planet. As one Democratic senator put it, “We sensed that this was really something that needed to be taken care of ... like yesterday.”

Both parties felt they didn’t have to the time to argue about petty disagreements, this was something that needed to be resolved quickly. For, as President Obama himself has said, “A solar system with only eight planets is not the one we grew up in.”

Consequently, Congress has decided to take a long break in which to give themselves a generous pat on the back for such a unified and focused effort.