Spread the love around

Stating that sophomore Sarah Kintzel does not have the best Valentine’s Day plans would be an understatement.

Her boyfriend of three years left her a month ago – and she is 33 weeks pregnant.
But Valentine’s Day remains her favorite holiday.

“It’s really cliche, but since I’ve been a little girl I’ve been obsessed with the idea of love,” sophomore Sarah Kintzel said. “I love that people feel that.”

So instead of sitting in her room crying, she has decided she does not need a boyfriend to make her Valentine’s Day complete. All she needs is a girls’ day out – complete with seeing the upcoming movie “Valentine’s Day,” watching “ridiculous rom-coms” and eating lots of chocolate.

The 10 or so friends getting together don’t make the typical group you’d expect to see celebrating Valentine’s Day: One was dumped two weeks ago, one is in a long-distance relationship and one is single.

Kintzel said for her the holiday is not about having a boyfriend. Her family always gives flowers and gifts to each other.

“We embrace all kinds of love, not necessarily just those with boys,” Kintzel said.
Like Kintzel, most people who can’t wait to celebrate Valentine’s Day have always loved doing so. But can someone reform from being the Grinch of Valentine’s Day to being a self-described moderate?

Andrew Libby, assistant director of the Office of Service-Learning, used to wear black on Valentine’s Day, but since marrying his wife of seven years he has become a bigger fan of the Hallmark holiday and now wears brown instead.

“When I got married I found someone I really loved,” Libby said. “On one level, it is clearly a corporate holiday commodified with presents and getting stuff, but being in love has softened my critique.”

Libby said he enjoys getting his wife gifts such as flowers and chocolate to show his appreciation for all that she does.

“It has something to do with material gifts,” Libby said. “But the real point is about being with someone you love.”

Gender also has an impact on what is expected of each partner. Typically the men are expected to express their affection more than the women, said Sharon Brehm, a professor in the Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences.

In order to enjoy Valentine’s Day more, Brehm suggests forgetting about the gender expectations.

“Males typically feel more pressure,” Brehm said. “Both guys and girls should do something they enjoy, like give a little kiss. Gifts do not have to be a burden.”

Valentine’s Day could be good or bad depending on the state of the relationship, Brehm said.

“If you are really in love, Valentine’s Day can be a way to communicate it to that person,” Brehm said. “Or maybe the relationship is not getting along so well and it is used as a way to repair it. It could be a way to exacerbate problems.”

Sophomore Taylor Brown and freshman Alyson Wiggs have been in an on-and-off relationship for four years. Brown likes to show his affection more openly while Wiggs doesn’t like “all that mushy stuff.”

“I like to treat her to things she deserves,” Brown said.

Because Wiggs is not a huge fan of the holiday, Brown must refrain from doing anything too extravagant.

“I like Valentine’s Day more for my feelings for her,” Brown said.

No matter how much someone enjoys giving or receiving gifts, one’s relationship should always be the top priority of the holiday.