Buried under star power

Three little words devoid of romantic sentiment can sum up Garry Marshall’s “Valentine’s Day”:

Way too much.

Three more words describe the romantic comedy’s fortunate likability:

Still very cute.

A combination of 18 A-listers, dozens of red roses and a network of endless, chaotic plot lines make for a wild Feb. 14 in sunny Los Angeles. And when realism lacks, star power shines.

Story flaws are evident in simple, unrealistic resolutions, a tell-tale sign of too much action and not enough time. Ashton Kutcher’s character, who screams “she said yes!” upon hearing his then-fiance (Jessica Alba) accept his proposal, ends up making out with Jennifer Garner after his diamond ring is returned mid-day. The neurotic Jessica Biel, who claims her closest relationship is with her BlackBerry, ends up falling for self-proclaimed player(Jamie Foxx), though the two lack any palpable chemistry on screen. Both ending sequences are awkward and puzzling.

But underneath the layer of shallow protagonists lies one notable instance of deeper meaning.

When Kutcher confronts George Lopez about what love is, his response is strangely profound: “Love is devastation.”

It’s enough to halt the tongues of couples making out on couches everywhere.
Like love itself, “Valentine’s Day” is a confusing, fragmented, nonsensical-but-sweet ride destined to wreck.