‘Legion’ lacks luster

Stop if you’ve heard this one before: The world is on the brink of apocalypse. Wait, there’s a twist: Doomsday will come at the hands of violent, bloodthirsty angels. And of course, no movie about the end of the world is complete without an unborn child who is mankind’s only hope.

There is little more to “Legion,” a movie that is way behind its time. Where classics like “Blade Runner” and “The Matrix” were brilliant depictions of dystopian society, this film falls short.

Our hero is Michael (Paul Bettany), who just decided to betray the man upstairs’ plan to eliminate the human race. In a redundant voice-over at the start and end of the film we learn God’s reason for the apocalypse: “He was sick of the bullshit.”

The majority of the film takes place in a diner that moonlights as a gas station, truck stop and full-service auto repair. Bob (Dennis Quaid) owns the diner, his son Jeep (Lucas Black) works the shop and Jeep’s love Charlie (Adrianne Palicki) waitresses. Did I mention Charlie just happens to be impregnated with mankind’s only hope for survival?

Percy (Charles S. Dutton) the cook and Kyle (Tyrese Gibson) the lost traveler round out the Charlie-protecting army as they are bull-rushed by an onslaught of killer angels and zombie-like people.

The film has no shortage of action, but jarring editing makes the battles difficult to follow. And what action flick would be complete without excruciating dialogue? When Jeep is forced to lead, Michael tells him to “have faith.”

Beneath its shallow Biblical facade, “Legion” is an over-stylized zombie flick. God didn’t give up on the human race; he gave up on this movie.