Hall-Ho-Ween

The most magical night of the year is less than a month away. Which costume will you be wearing?

The scantily-clad see-through superhero? The vixen pirate wench? The ravishing Red Riding Hood? Or perhaps the two-piece sexy Dorothy costume with optional matching panties?

A night tramping around in heels with nine-tenths of your skin exposed in 45 degree weather is sure to be a fulfilling experience, no matter which of these or countless other racy costumes you might choose.

Forget about the ridiculous notion that you can be anything you want on Halloween. Just be smokin’ hot and sexy.

Forget about all your childhood years with fun costumes and bobbing for apples in your neighbor’s garage. “Trick-or-treat” has a new meaning, and your Halloween costume needs to expose that.

A Google search of the words “sexy Halloween costumes” revealed nearly 18,000,000 results, compared to its counterpart “modest Halloween costumes” that came in with a measly 73,900.

Sure the “sexy” results actually came from stores, while the “modest” ones seemed to come from someone’s basement via eBay, but this quest for the hottest costume for Halloween speaks to more than an individual’s search for a quality costume – it smacks our college creativity on the ass and tells us that, on the one night of the year when we pretend to be anything we can imagine, we pick the sexy version of these stock characters.

We pick them because they make us feel powerful and dominating. People want to look at us, people are attracted to us, and heck, they just might get us laid.

But I would argue that Halloween is about more than boozin’ and floozin.’ It’s about usin’ a little more creativity than goes into the average frat-party theme.

We need to bring back the days when Halloween was about more than trying to increase your erotic capital; it was about getting more candy than your best friend. Halloween used to be outrageous and outlandish. It used to be off-the-wall and full of memories that we would want to remember.

What happened to those days? And what happened to the ingenious costumes we used to come up with as we reveled in the unbelievable amount of candy we would bring home?

As the cool October breezes begin blowing and pre-packaged stripper costumes start to line store shelves, try to find a costume that is perfect for you, not for the world gawking as you walk by.

If your Halloween ensemble happens to be the black-suited spider girl sassy deluxe, more power to you. But if your Halloween costume happens to be something clever and original, something out of the box, and perhaps something that doesn’t expose most of the skin on your body to the cold October air, go you!

There will be 364 more nights to wear the stretch gloss microfiber leggings with the teeny-weenie T-shirt. Try something else this Halloween.