IU alum Harlan Cohen gives tips about college problems

Columnist and best-selling author Harlan Cohen answered a taboo question for many college students – what do I do if I think my roommate is having sex in the bunk bed above me?

Cohen, an IU alumnus, spoke Friday night at the Willkie Quad Auditorium about the challenges and uncomfortable situations college students encounter. The event was sponsored by the Residence Halls Association.

“Yeah, I love you,” he said to a half-full auditorium.

Then he began playing his guitar.

His lyrics cut straight to the chase. He sung about his first encounter with his naked college roommate, Stew.  

Cohen is a Chicago-area native who was originally rejected from IU. So, he went to the University of Wisconsin-Madison. He later transferred to IU, where he said some of the same problems that come with being a first-year student awaited him.  As a student Cohen worked at the Indiana Daily Student, where he started his advice column, “Help Me, Harlan!”

Cohen said it was hard to get people to submit questions at first, so he would make up questions that he thought people would want to know the answers to.  

Cohen wasn’t immediately successful in college, he said.  He was the only one in his group of friends who got rejected from the fraternities, and his long-time girlfriend broke up with him on the phone.

College, Cohen said, can be the loneliest place in the world.  

“Life is 90 percent great and 10 percent BS,” he said.

Having Cohen speak to students was a way to spread wisdom and advice, said Katie Lambert, RHA vice president for Programming.

“We have one of the largest freshman classes at IU – there are over 6,500 students in residence halls,” Lambert said. “Sometimes problems can arise when you’re packed in with people you don’t know. Dealing with these issues can be very uncomfortable.”

Cohen talked about dealing with different roommate situations. He said it is very hard for people to confront their roommates, and it’s best at the beginning of the year to say: “If I do anything that makes you uncomfortable, let me know.”  

He said this kind of communication is key to making things work in a roommate environment. Cohen got interactive with the crowd by asking different students questions about their relationship statuses and their roommate situations.

Cohen touched on hookups. He said there are 16 kinds of hookups, which he listed in his new edition of “The Naked Roommate,” a book with tips for several situations college students encounter.   

Some of these include “The Weekend Hookup,” “The Convenience Hookup” and “The Repeat Backup Hookup.”

Cohen said the most important thing he learned through his experiences was the “Universal Rejection Truth.”

“Most of the world is stuck with the idea that we want people to like us,” Cohen said.

He said it is easy to ignore and avoid the people that we don’t get along with or don’t like. We try to get the rest of our friends not to like them either, he said.

“Give people permission not to like you,” Cohen said.

Cohen said this problem could be solved in three simple steps.

He said you must wear a tight “thong” of all your insecurities, acknowledge what they are and surround yourself with great people who will encourage you.

“You will always have options,” he said. “You need to explore, and take risks. I’m so happy to share all of this with you.”

Cohen also opened up for questions and sang another comical song called “Syphilis.”

Junior Jared Solow said he found the lecture informative.

“He made amazing points, for people both single and in relationships,” Solow said. “There’s always a solution to a problem.”