Used to it

As 12-year-olds we were extremely awkward. We didn’t know who we were, we didn’t know who we wanted to be and we didn’t know what the heck was going on with our peers. Someone was always crying – often over a failed relationship or an unrequited love affair.

It was like “90210” – except the boys we were crying over had braces and were about 4 feet tall.

Though we spent all three years of middle school obsessing about our crushes, we spent even more time hoping to avoid the drama that inevitably ensues when 400 mid-pubescent social climbers are thrown into a cafeteria together.

We’ve all been through that stage of life where our bodies are as confused as we are. We didn’t ask enough questions, we were self-involved and we took the world around us far too seriously.

I was the typical awkward, confused middle school student. I even had those moments where I hopped on the mean-girl bandwagon. Despite genuine efforts to be a good person, there were times when I failed.

Looking back, there are a lot of things I could have done differently in the interest of being kind, but in comparison to many of my peers I was a sweetheart. Kids can be cruel, and the only solution for immature cruelness is maturing.

That’s why the trend of “empathy workshops” offered at middle schools across the country is silly. Kids will be immature and ignorant until life experiences teach them to change their ways.

David A. Levine, author of the book “Teaching Empathy,” runs workshops at middle schools where lessons are taught to students about empathy, kindness and inclusion.

The Parent Teacher Association at a middle school in Scarsdale, N.Y., spent $10,000 on empathy workshops with Levine. That money could be put toward so many more worthwhile expenses. Public schools are always asking for more funds and $10,000 is a frivolous use of taxpayers’ money for a program of questionable effect.

Administrators report these workshops have reduced the rate of disciplinary referrals – though it’s hard to believe students decided to be nicer to their peers after a workshop through which they were probably texting or sleeping.

Olivia Francis-Weber, principal of Public School 114 in the Bronx, told the New York Times that since the empathy training workshops, teachers are often sitting down with students and finding out what’s wrong before sending them off to the principal’s office.
So these workshops have a larger impact on the teachers than the students.

The New York Times made these workshops sound effective, revolutionary and philanthropic. But these students are still too immature to be influenced so heavily by a workshop.

It’s true that middle school would be a better place if the students wandering the halls were kind to one another. My 13-year-old sister would be a much happier camper.

But expensive workshops can’t cure immaturity. That’s time’s job.