Pelosi induces partisanship

How many Harvard law degrees does it take to fix the world’s economy? Well, we might actually never know.

Let’s face it. This isn’t exactly a Kumbaya moment in world politics. Bipartisanship has disappeared faster than Michael Phelps’ endorsements as the parties fight an ideological battle through the stimulus bill.

Of course, they have a lot to fight about. You might have heard that our economy is in macroeconomic freefall. Well, folks, the rumors are true. As the financial system continues to woe the world markets, I have found myself wondering, “Geez, maybe there is something to that gold standard thing.” And by God, how bad does it have to be for people to start wondering if Ron Paul was actually right?

The stimulus bill is limping its way toward becoming policy; it has surprisingly been an enormous struggle for a popular new president with a 65 percent job approval rating.

I pretty much blame this on Nancy Pelosi. She took the results of the November election as a green light to “make a grab bag of Democratic wish lists,” as Patrick Dorinson, a GOP strategist, described it.

Unfortunately, Congress still only has a 27 percent approval rating, and America is not crazy about going along with a bill that uses taxpayer dollars to achieve a perfectly manicured National Mall.

Meanwhile, Pelosi is throwing salt in the lacerations of the wounded animal that is House Republicans by touting that she “didn’t come to Washington to be bipartisan” one day after her $819 billion bill hobbled through the House without a single Republican vote. Not quite the change we were thinking of in November, was it?
Obama has made a significant effort to get Republicans on board with the stimulus bill. And Pelosi has made it nearly impossible for them to do so.

She alienated GOP Congress members from having any real consequential input in writing the bill and included provisions such that any conservative who even thought of supporting the stimulus would be lambasted by James Dobson and the entire Focus on the Family crew – i.e., stimulus spending on family planning.

Now Obama is off to a shaky start, and it seems the new Republican strategy is to just let Pelosi keep talking. What’s better than sitting back quietly and forcing the

Democratic House majority leader to defend contraception?

As for what to do about the economy, I have come to the decision that our government is incapable of collaborating to get anything of even minimal significance accomplished. Therefore, I propose we take Russia’s lead and resort to the barter.

Newspaper and online ads are filling up in the former Soviet Union for the exchange of goods, such as one offering “2,500,000 rubles worth of premium underwear for any automobile.” What could be simpler than that?

Let’s just go ahead and do away with the financial system for good. That’ll show those Wall Street fat cats.