Passive aggression

Last week, frozen students shivered impatiently at a bus stop near the Wells Library.

When the top of a bus was spotted making its way down the slippery streets, the uncomfortable soon-to-be passengers fell all over each other as they scurried to the bus’s doors.

The bus, already filled to capacity, opened its doors and the driver shrugged apologetically. “I have room for one more person,” he explained. “But everyone has to be behind the yellow line.”

As one lucky student hopped on the bus, a girl came flying down the steps in front of the library.

Before the bus driver could kick her off, she was negotiating her way into a small corner in the front of the bus. “See, I’m behind the yellow line,” she said.

The driver rolled his eyes but didn’t argue. She made room for herself on the crowded bus, regardless of whether she earned the spot or not.

The group that had been waiting in the cold was forced to continue waiting as the bus drove off into the distance.

Some of us, through chattering teeth, expressed anger at the girl who cut the line. Others admired her for being so proactive.

I thought we all were a bunch of freezing-cold passive losers. Because none of us told her off, she would be on a warm bus that would deliver her to class on time. The majority of us would be late – and cold.

I realized that by doing nothing, I was accomplishing nothing. If making it to class on time was so important to me, should I have drop-kicked everyone in front of me until I got behind that yellow line?

Actually, violence is not the answer, though I felt a light shove from the girl who cut the line. But why didn’t I speak up?

All I had to do was tell her to wait her turn. Or perhaps I should have jumped on the bus and started negotiating the same way she had. I suppose I assumed the bus driver’s word was final. No exceptions.

Then, as I huddled with the other strangers at the bus stop to exchange body heat – a different kind of bonding experience than Greek life – I had an epiphany.

There are always exceptions.

The system can be beat, but often the best way to get what you want is to be assertive and speak up.

I’m typically not a fan of grade-grubbers, but let’s be honest: If their arguments are valid, their grubbing can pay off. Keeping quiet achieves nothing.

I was literally a doormat inviting that girl to step on me in her journey to the bus.

We were angry because she wasn’t polite when she elbowed and shoved her way through the crowd.

But she got what she wanted because we didn’t elbow back – or assert ourselves with words.  

The next time I feel a shove in front of the bus’s doors, I will fend for myself. I’m in college now; it’s not like my parents can step in.