A lesson from third grade

My cousin Alana was recently selected to be a “friendship mentor.”

She and just a few other third-graders from her elementary school will meet with their counselor regularly to discuss “how to have a friend and be one.” This is an honor for my cousin, who is my extended family’s token sweetheart. Her teachers recognized her as a good person and good friend.

In an e-mail my aunt sent out sharing her daughter’s great news with a few members of her address book, she mentioned that Alana had been hoping to get into the accelerated academic “pull-out” group. My aunt explained, though, that she would prefer to raise a good person than an academic scholar – and most parents probably feel the same way.

Our parents send us to college to learn. But the tuition covers far more than the material in our textbooks. Everything we learn in college – including how to be a good friend – applies to the real world. Being a good friend is a fantastic skill to possess, and employers seek applicants with impressive social skills.

College is the ideal place to learn social skills since it forces us to live on top of our peers – literally. The very first night of freshman year, students are already sleeping together.

Relax, I’m talking about the bunk beds in the dorm rooms.

Even the students who opt out of the roommate plan and reside in a single have to share a bathroom with the people on their floor.
If college students don’t remember what they learned about being a good, considerate friend in third grade, a dysfunctional dorm life is the result. And a dysfunctional dorm life could serve as an obstacle for a student looking to make new friends.

The good friends we make in college are crucial to college experiences and to our futures. Our lives are enhanced because we’ve stumbled upon something rare and precious: people who care about us.

I met some of my best friends in college. Though I missed out on almost two decades of their lives, I know enough about them to know how much I care for them and vice versa. Though we’re invested in each other’s best interest, I’m sure we could learn a thing or two from Alana.

Not only does she care about her friends, she is a good friend to everyone she encounters – even those outside her circle.

As a “friendship mentor,” Alana will be working with kids who might have a hard time making friends, the kids who don’t possess the social skills that are as essential to a third-grader as they are to a college student.

There is nothing better than experiencing relationships that are educational and fulfilling. It’s a shame that some people go through college missing out on that. Perhaps Alana should come to IU and teach a 100-level course on the subject of friendship.

Or maybe she could be Bloomington’s resident “friend.” We’d be lucky to have her.