Watch out Perez, I am coming for you

I just spent the last hour and a half thinking of something to write about.

Sure, I love arts and entertainment. I could write about my love for small, unknown bands on YouTube such as the Florida-based band Boyce Avenue (I own the CD, and I have played all of its videos on YouTube at least 40 times each). I could talk about the passion I hold inside for Brad Pitt and his ever-changing facial hair (sorry Brad, the stach must go).

I could even talk about The CW – a TV channel that does nothing but air shows so trashy but so great (“Gossip Girl” and “One Tree Hill”) that sometimes I wish my life was half as interesting as the ones shown on the screen.

I was even thinking about writing about my love for Taylor Swift and her ability to make me feel like even I could be Juliet.

But instead I’m going to talk to you about a recent decision in my life inspired by one man: Perez Hilton.

I have PerezHilton.com bookmarked. I get my daily dose of celebrity gossip from his blog, and when I go a day without looking at it, I feel lost.

I’m just going to be really honest here – I love him. If he wasn’t gay, I would try to find him and ask him for his hand in marriage. What’s sexier than a man who gets a lot of Web hits?

Working from the bottom up, Hilton moved to New York in hopes of becoming an actor but instead ended up working as an assistant to a club disc jockey. When his dreams of being an actor were over, he moved to Los Angeles and began freelancing for local gay publications.

Moving back to New York, Hilton worked as a reporter for Star Magazine but was fired because he spent too much time working on a personal blog.

And that’s a good thing, because look where it got him. Sure, celebrities hate him, but I, too, would be content if Lindsay Lohan hated me. At least she would know I existed.
But seriously, Hilton worked his way up from nothing and is now making money to blog – probably more money than I will ever make in my lifetime as a journalist. I mean, we all want to be something someday, right?

I’ve been working so hard at being just like him that I’ve even perfected my Microsoft Paint skills. No pictures will be without white paint again.

I even have a few things in common with Hilton: I hate Amy Winehouse, I love sexy men and I do believe that Madonna and Alex Rodriguez are dating.

So after countless months reading PerezHilton.com, I’ve got my ducks in a row.
I’m going to graduate college in August, find some celebrity hotspots and start my own blog.

One of my friends told me I could never be mean like Hilton, but that’s just something at which I’ll have to work harder. So watch out, Hilton, I’m coming for you in ’09.