Cell phone scapegoat

I was late for class on a recent Thursday. Though it was my fault and I should have taken responsibility for my tardiness, I cursed my cell phone.

In hindsight, I realize the device was just an easy scapegoat. Lateness was my own fault. I never turned my phone back on its regular setting after keeping it on silent during my Wednesday classes. Silly me.

So the alarm on my cell phone went off at 8:30 a.m. Wednesday as usual. The fact that it didn’t make any noise, however, reduced its effectiveness. What good is an alarm if it won’t even wake up a watchdog?

Eventually, I woke up on my own. I almost had a heart attack when I realized my class had already started – six minutes ago. I got ready in three minutes and ran to class. Sitting down for breakfast was out of the question. The once-over in the mirror before I stepped outside was another luxury I sacrificed. My appearance might have been offensive to some of my classmates, but I’ll never know. In the interest of self-preservation, I avoided mirrors that day.

When I finally made it to class (nearly half an hour late), I told my professor what happened. Except in this rendition of “Jordan’s Morning From Hell,” my cell phone was the villain, and Mr. Blackberry made the Big Bad Wolf seem like a softy.

I was so disappointed in my cell phone. You could have told me it was responsible for world hunger, and I might have believed you.

But how could I blame my phone? Of course technology has revolutionized the way we wake up, but we’re the ones who program our devices. If I had been a little less of a flake on Wednesday night and remembered to turn my phone back on its loudest setting, I could have avoided running into Ernie Pyle Hall panting like an idiot. 

Our generation has become dependant on cell phones as alarm clocks. There are even groups on Facebook dedicated to the wake-up method. Many members posted comments proclaiming that they prefer the compact convenience of a cell phone to actual alarm clocks. But no matter what device wakes us up in the morning, we need to understand that we manipulate it to ring when and choose how loud it does.

We love technology when it works and simplifies our lives. But when it doesn’t, the operators from troubleshooting hotlines don’t hear the end of it. 

Perhaps we allow ourselves to get angry at devices because we know we won’t have to deal with any hurt feelings if, in the heat of the moment, we say some things we don’t mean.

Since that Thursday, my cell phone alarm and I have been getting along great. It’s all about cooperation. I triple check the sound settings right before I go to sleep, and its chime wakes me up the next morning. But the next time there’s a problem, I’m trading in my cell phone for a rooster.