This is Thriller! Halloween playlists set on repeat

The week before Halloween is upon us, and the scramble for a good costume begins. Fishnets will be sold out of every store, and Mars Inc. will be sitting pretty.  

Meanwhile, fashionistas are abstaining from their normal calorie intake by ordering one less grande, non-fat, shaken-not-stirred, iced mocha with two Splendas just so they can fit into their French maid ensembles.  

The excitement Halloween once created with its sugar highs and pillowcases full of candy no longer fills our hearts and our cavities. Now, our liver is working overtime, and blisters are blooming on the feet of every virgin heel-wearer.  

Along with the need for more original costume ideas, the music at every party reeks of stinky repetition. However, the demand for Halloween tunes is not very high, so The Misfits alone can fill the quota.  

Most parties will fill our ears with the “hot” new songs from MTV while also throwing in “Thriller” every once in a while to satisfy the expectation. That way, everyone gets a chance to show off their own rendition of Michael Jackson’s sweet dance moves.  

At the very least, it will be a collaborative effort of serious arm swinging and foot stomping. If there’s one thing I know about MJ, he sure knows how to bring down the house.

Maybe if you’re lucky, the disc jockey will also indulge in “Monster Mash” performed by the one and only Bobby “Boris” Pickett and the Crypt Kickers.  

Try getting that song out of your head. It rivals “It’s A Small World.”

More than likely, Halloween night will be filled with girls dressed as all sorts of animals or professions gone “sexy,” while the guys wear makeshift costumes from Goodwill. You’ll spend more time trying to figure out if they are a bear, tiger or ’80s tracksuit wearer with a tail than having an actual conversation.

All in all, Halloween is a joyous occasion and should be celebrated by everyone.

After all, when else can you dress like a dominatrix and walk comfortably down the streets of our beloved Bloomington?