Shave your pits

A pleasant-looking girl in a sleeveless sundress boarded the bus I was riding this morning on my way to class. The bus was crowded, and she had a large art portfolio hanging by a strap from her shoulder that brushed against me.

“Sorry!” she said.

I looked up at her, about to say that it was OK, that I had been in an art class too, and knew what it was like to have to lug that thing around, when suddenly I saw something that sucked the words right out of me.

She had extended her arm to hold onto the pole above my seat. My eyes immediately landed on her arm pit, so dark and fuzzy with hair that a bear cub might very possibly have been nesting in it.

I guess I shouldn’t have found it so shocking. I had a similar experience last year in class one day when I leaned over to pick up my pencil and lifted my head just in time to make the mortifying discovery that the girl seated next to me, the one wearing the breezy springtime skirt, had hairier legs than my father.

Sick.

Call me superficial and not very progressive, but seriously, ew.

Now I’ll be the first to admit that I rarely shave my legs in the winter. It’s like I get to wear a second pair of pants that keeps me extra warm, plus I can pretend that I’m a centaur. But it’s a gift I give myself. It’s my own little secret (although I suppose it’s not anymore).

My point is I would never consider prancing around outside in sundresses with hairy pits.

The feminist argument might be if men don’t have to shave there, neither should we.

Well, most men I know also don’t keep soap in their bathrooms or take out the trash.

Men are supposed to be a little disgusting, which is kind of why they need us.

And it’s not that I have a problem with women who choose not to conform to westernized standards of beauty. I actually have a lot of respect for women who are confident enough to ignore fleeting fashion trends and to not find their worth in an image they create for themselves with makeup. I even used to be one of them until a few years ago when I came to college and became completely insecure and self-focused.

But seriously, female pit hair?

I applaud individuality, but why not just work on developing a charming personality quirk or an unusual hobby?

Female body hair is one of the most natural things in the world. I wouldn’t give it a second thought if society had not conditioned me to find it so wholly repulsive. But that’s the reality we live in.

Maybe it’s wrong, and maybe someday we will live in a world where appearances go unnoticed, males and females are totally indistinguishable, and unsightly body hair will not cause fellow bus passengers to gag and vomit.

But in the meantime, ladies, please shave your pits.