Fantasy football is ruining my life

Fantasy football is literally ruining my life.

Sure, this isn’t a new development for all you devout fantasy football followers, and even I have been charmed by the leagues I’ve been in over the years. Yet in the past, by week 10 of the NFL season I lost interest, resulting in a string of embarrassing losses.

Nevertheless, I could still see the draw while answering private messages from fellow fantasy freaks about my “dedication to the league” due to my “despicable lineup” that I never changed.

There’s no wonder why the number of fantasy football players increases each year – it’s an actual money-making property, and coverage of it has been implemented into many mainstream media properties (ESPN, Sports Illustrated , Fox Sports and Yahoo! Sports all have in-depth fantasy sections).

And since this season began, there hasn’t been anything more responsible for the state of my moods than fantasy football. When my team wins, there’s a bit more of a hop in my step; when they go down (which has been the case more often that not this year), I’m crestfallen beyond belief.

The only thing that keeps me going is scouring the interwebs for the latest tips that will help me conquer my next opponent.

Plus, managing and controlling the team is a serious endeavor, and one that takes up at least 30 minutes each day. All week I clamor over the waiver wires, trying to determine the best pickups for my team, all the while reading up on who is hot and who is not. I even spend a few minutes each day burning my opponent’s roster into my brain. Not sure why, I just feel better knowing who he has as the stats reveal themselves on Sunday.

Game day really changes because of the influence of fantasy. Pointless games mean more, every play suddenly counts and before I know it, I’ve spent two hours watching the live scoring system automatically update when I was supposed to be working. When I’m down big, suddenly I start running all sorts of mathematical equations and crack-pot scenarios through my head in an attempt to subdue my anger.

What’s worse is that I’ve seemingly chosen the worst possible year to drink the Kool-Aid and become a member of this cult; and per usual, it’s Facebook’s fault.
The social-networking behemoth partnered up with Sports Illustrated this season to create a superb fantasy football application, which has brought two of my worst habits to one place. The easy access fuels an obsession that the team’s continued pathetic performance can’t deter.

I feel like I’m never going to get out of this mess. I don’t care that I seriously contemplated deleting my opponent’s team (one of the perks of being the league commissioner) just because he was kicking my ass, or that I now spend more time on Facebook than my Facebook-dependent girlfriend of three years – who by the way now approaches me with extreme caution on Sunday evenings.
Hi, my name is Cory Barker and I have a fantasy football problem.