Cable crashers

Have you ever seen the movie “The Cable Guy”? You know, that funny movie directed by comedian Ben Stiller, the one that had Jim Carey play a cable guy who stalked all of his clients.  

I had a cable experience of my own. The cable guy did not stalk me, but I sure had a frustrating experience.

Here we go:

It all started on a beautiful morning. The sun was bright as dynamite, and no cloud rested in the sky. It was as clear as a toilet seat that was cleaned to perfection. For lunch, I had made plans to go out to get a nice hamburger (ketchup, mustard, pickles and onions), work out at the fitness center and go to the mall to shop for posters and such. 

Oops. I forgot that I had an appointment to get my cable put in my apartment. Why was I dreading this? Everyone loves cable. I also planned on getting HBO so I shouldn’t be disappointed about a cable appointment at all. With HBO, I could watch shows like “Curb Your Enthusiasm” and “Entourage.”

Let me tell you why I was angry about a cable appointment: It was not an appointment! These people told me they were coming sometime between 1 and 5 p.m. I had to either postpone my day plans until after the cable guy came (a time I didn’t even know) or do them another day. Not cool.

I just do not understand why they call that an appointment. An appointment is when you call up the doctor’s office and say, “Hey, I would like to schedule an appointment with Dr. Johnson,” and then the lady at the front desk says, “Dr. Johnson is available at 4 p.m.” 

Instead of saying I will be at the available time, how about I tell the lady at the front desk, “I will be there between 4 and 8 p.m. You can tell Dr. Johnson to just wait for me, and I will come when I am ready.”

Who do these people think they are? Seriously, I know they do a good service, I am not denying that they are good people, and I surely am not saying that I will never get cable installed again. All I am trying to say is that it is the cable company’s fault that I had to change up four hours of plans for them. They are acting like they are above doctors, physicians and dentists. A cable guy just shows up, brings a box and plugs in a couple of cords.

What was I supposed to do during that wait? Was I to take the risk and run to get takeout? What if I came back to find out that the cable guy knocked on my door and nobody was home? Should I pick up some food for the cable guy in case he comes back and actually waits? I really wanted that hamburger.

What did I do? I ate food at my apartment, called the cable company numerous times (all they did was direct me to a new number) and waited.